Finally

Finally

A Poem by A. Rose

 

Finally!

 

It took me to long to do this

But I have finally said goodbye

Know this, that you I will not miss

No more will I have to endure your lies

 

I am free as a bird

Now that I have gone away from you

Never again having to listen to your words

That were never even close to true

 

I don'f feel bad I don't feel blue

I feel as happy as can be

Since away from you I have flew

Never again will we disagree

 

Oh, how happy I am to be free

I have broken our unbreakable ties

Oh can't you see

I have said goodbye!

 

Finally!

 

© 2009 A. Rose


Author's Note

A. Rose
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Featured Review

I agree with Adeline, very good feeling you have in this piece; and the Finally! at the beginning and the end give it a sense of spiraling, which is always great in a poem.
I think you may want to examine your meter more closely, however. There are lots of lines that are a little choppy imo. Viz; 'That were never even close to true' could be contracted just a bit into 'That were never close to true' or 'That weren't even close to true.'
What I would recommend is that you read through the poem aloud, to get a feeling of the meter, and then make what changes you think you should.
However, I liked the feeling you expressed through this work. It was the end of a relationship, but it wasn't depressing, it was uplifting. It felt like the narrator is on to bigger and better things. I love it.
Keep writing!

Scott

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I agree with everyone. It was a great peice. One grammer thing, though i shouldn't be one to comment about it considering my horrid grammar.
"I don'f feel bad I don't feel blue"
Should be
"I don't feel bad, I don't feel blue"
But thats it. I think. Ah, well it doesn't matter, i liked this peice none the less.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Not bad, still dig deeper to show the raw emotion involved.

Posted 14 Years Ago


It shows a lot of inner strength... breaking away from a relationship is difficult even when it is hurting you... very nicely expressed.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love it. i see you have have real talent :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Adeline, very good feeling you have in this piece; and the Finally! at the beginning and the end give it a sense of spiraling, which is always great in a poem.
I think you may want to examine your meter more closely, however. There are lots of lines that are a little choppy imo. Viz; 'That were never even close to true' could be contracted just a bit into 'That were never close to true' or 'That weren't even close to true.'
What I would recommend is that you read through the poem aloud, to get a feeling of the meter, and then make what changes you think you should.
However, I liked the feeling you expressed through this work. It was the end of a relationship, but it wasn't depressing, it was uplifting. It felt like the narrator is on to bigger and better things. I love it.
Keep writing!

Scott

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this as well, I know these feelings all to well,
This is wonderfully expressed.


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this! and the picture is perfect for it. I like how you had the finally! at the beginning and end, it gave the reader a sense of conclusion and at the beginning it helped see it was a good thing that knowing this person was over with, if that makes sense. nice work!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 24, 2009
Last Updated on October 24, 2009

Author

A. Rose
A. Rose

Walkin on Sunshine



About
Hi! For some reason my other account won't let me sign in, so I had to make a new one. My other account name is Mitji. So hi to my old friends and my new ones. I am a big reader and big music listener.. more..

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