You're My Favorite Bird

 

FADE IN:

INT: GRACIE’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON

 

We fade in on Gracie sitting in her car that is parked in the back of a liquor store. With small signs of worry on her face, she is looking behind her car. We hear the sound of cases of beer being loaded into her trunk. As usual Gracie has her cell phone glued to her ear, and we drop in during the middle of the conversation.

 

GRACIE

(quietly)

No, I’m here right now.... Well I don’t want him to hear me.... Because if he hears me say that I think he’s creepy, he’ll f*****g unload all of the beer from my trunk, and what then? We’ll be fucked.... I don’t know, I guess I could just peel out before he gets to do it.... Well I can hear him, so what’s there to say he can’t hear me?.... I guess. But even still, I think ‘creepy’ sounds the same, clear or muffled.

(sudden realization; even more quietly than before)

Oh f**k, he can probably hear through the seats. F**k, I didn’t even think of that till just now- F**k! I should go.

 

We hear the sound of the trunk closing.

 

GRACIE (CONT)

      (still quiet)

Alright he’s done. Now I really have to go....

 

She turns back around and faces front.

 

GRACIE (CONT)

      (still quiet)

I don’t know, f**k, I got used to it- Stop hassling me!.... Alright, I’ll see you later. Bye-bye.

 

She closes her phone just as MIKE KURTZMAN (20) walks up to the driver’s side window. Gracie rolls down the window and Kurtzman bends down into the window to be at eye level with her. Gracie is obviously not interested in anything he has to say, but she maintains a chipper tone, so that she doesn’t tip off Kurtzman to the fact that she thinks he is a deviant.

 

KURTZMAN

That’ll about do it, Lisowski.

 

GRACIE

Oh thanks, Mike. You’re a sweetheart. An absolute sweetheart.

 

KURTZMAN

Well, you know what they say, “Million dollar heart, Nickel head.”

 

GRACIE

Oh don’t listen to that, Mike. That’s just people talking to talk.

 

KURTZMAN

I know.

      (a beat)

So what’s all this for anyway, Lisowski?

 

GRACIE

Oh you know, just a little get together between friends.

 

KURTZMAN

That’s a lot of booze for ‘between friends’

 

GRACIE

(fumbling)

Well, you know, we’re having one tonight, and one tomorrow night. Gotta take advantage of the long weekend.

 

KURTZMAN

Ain’t that the truth. So, who’s going to be at this shindig?

 

GRACIE

Oh, not many people.

      (thinking)

Kathy Otley, Brian Thompson, Jessica Henner; a couple of people from North: Beth Isanuk, Jeff Whelan and Maggie Edelstein’ll be there, uh... Annie Leibowitz is going.

 

KURTZMAN

(coyly)

Oooooh Annie Leibowitz, huh?

 

GRACIE

Uh... yea, that’s what I hear anyway.

 

KURTZMAN

I remember Annie.

 

GRACIE

I bet you do.

 

 

KURTZMAN

Cute girl, that one. Always fond of her.

 

GRACIE

(under her breath)

So does most of the county?

 

KURTZMAN

What?

 

GRACIE

Nothing. But I should-

 

KURTZMAN

(interrupting)

So how’s your sister doing?

 

GRACIE

She’s alright. Finishing up college and all that.

 

KURTZMAN

Yea? A year early, huh?

      (reminiscing)

Man, I had such a crush on her in high school.

 

GRACIE

I remember.

 

KURTZMAN

You do? How?

 

GRACIE

Well, she told me that you did.

 

KURTZMAN

She knew?

 

GRACIE

She had some idea.

 

KURTZMAN

Oh my God! That’s so embarrassing.

 

GRACIE

You shouldn’t worry about it.

(obviously lying)

She thought it was... uh- cute, I guess would be the...uh- correct way to say it.

 

KURTZMAN

Oh, well, that makes me feel a little bit better. Next time you talk to her tell her I said, “Hey.”

 

GRACIE

Most definitely.

 

She goes to put her car in gear.

 

GRACIE

(hastily)

Look I should...

 

KURTZMAN

(interrupting her)

Your sister and me had some pretty good times when we hung out together.

 

When he says this, Gracie stops putting her car in gear, and does her best to suppress her frustration, to which Kurtzman is completely oblivious.

 

KURTZMAN (CONT)

Pretty, pretty good times.

 

GRACIE

(exasperated)

So she’s told me.

 

KURTZMAN

Yep, like this one time, we were on a ski trip together.

 

Gracie’s face falls as she remembers the story of the ski trip.

 

KURTZMAN (CONT)

We sat down in the lodge by the fire and just talked. It was pretty romantic.

 

GRACIE

(wearily)

Oh, really, she never told me about that.

 

KURTZMAN

Yea, I mean, believe or not, I’m into all that classy, romantic junk.

 

GRACIE

Really?

 

KURTZMAN

Yea.

      (a beat; coyly)

So, what are you doing till your party tonight?

 

Grace sits there in silence, shocked by the fact that Kurtzman is hitting on her. Fortunately, a few awkward beats after Kurtzman’s ephebophilic question, her cell phone rings.      

 

GRACIE

Hold on, I have to get this.

(answering)

Hello.... (>>>)

GRACIE (CONT)

      (excitedly)

Creston, darling, how are you?.... I’m good.

 

She looks to Kurtzman.

 

GRACIE (CONT)

(into the phone)

Hold on one second.

(to Kurtzman)

Sorry, Mike, I have to take this. How much do I owe you?

 

KURTZMAN

Uh...

(thinking)

For Leah Lisowski’s little sister? Twenty.

 

GRACIE

Really?

      (glancing to the trunk)

For all that?

 

He nods.

 

GRACIE (CONT)

(taken aback)

Wow, Mike, thanks.

 

Kurtzman nods as Gracie hands him a twenty from her purse, which he shoves into his back pocket.

 

KURTZMAN

I’ll see you later, Lisowski.

 

He stands up straight, and walks away.

 

GRACIE

(calling after)

Bye, Mike!

 

She rolls the window up.

 

GRACIE

(into the phone; exasperated)

Oh thank f*****g God, that was awkward.... I was just with Mike Kurtzman, and he would not shut the f**k up, so I couldn’t leave....

      (looking out the window)

I think he got scared off when I called you ‘darling’.... He probably thinks we’re dating.... He doesn’t know that, though.... I was getting some beer for the party tonight....Well, it’s just that- you know what, f**k you Creston. Don’t judge me! It’s not like I had to do anything weird.... (>>>)

 

GRACIE (CONT)

 (laughing)

Good point...So what’s up?.... Did you tried calling them?.... Yea, they are pretty unreachable most of the time....

      (laughing)

Exactly. Why are they there anyway?.... What do you mean you can’t tell me?.... What’re you f*****g kidding me?.... Bullshit it’s private, I want to know!.... F**k you.... I’m not going unless you tell me....

      (sighs; exasperated)

Fine.

(a beat)

You have no idea how lucky you are that people put up with this. Where are they again?.... Do you want me to go, or not?.... Then stop making fun of me, we can’t all be as aware as you are Waters.... Yea, you better be.... Alright. And how late should I tell them you’ll be?.... F**k off. I have to tell them something.... So you think they’ll just wait until you get there, no matter how long it takes....

      (sighs)

You are an egotistical individual. You know that?.... Alright, I’m going. You owe me though.... F*****g right most definitely.... I’ll talk to you later- Hey, you should stop by tonight.... Yea, it’s at- how d’you know that?.... But I just found out.... You’re too smart for your own good. It honestly scares me.

      (laughing)

Oh, I do.... Alright, well if you can, you do, and if you can’t, you don’t.... Ok, I’ll see you later. Bye.

 

She hangs up her phone. After putting it back in her purse, she finally puts her car in gear.

 

CUT TO:

EXT: BACK OF LIQUOR STORE – LATE AFTERNOON

 

We see Gracie’s car drive off from behind the sketchy liquor store.

 

CUT TO:

EXT: PARKING LOT – MOMENTS LATER

 

Gracie’s car drives into the same parking that Burgis and Coug are isolated in. In the same manner that Rainny did before, the car pulls up along the driver’s side of Coug’s car. Burgis and Coug, however, are nowhere to be seen. Gracie rolls down her window.

     

GRACIE

(“Dennis the Menace”-style)

Oh Mister Winters!

 

After a moment, we see Burgis’ head pop up from the passenger side.

 

BURGIS

Thank God, it’s him.

 

Coug’s head pops up in the same way.

 

COUG

No it isn’t.

 

BURGIS

How can you be sure?

 

COUG

Because it’s Gracie.

 

BURGIS

      (to Coug)

I don’t believe you.

      (to Gracie; shouting; cartooney)

Who goes there?

 

GRACIE

... It’s Gracie, Burgis.

 

BURGIS

LIAR!

 

Coug hits him on the back of the head.

 

COUG

Stop!

 

They both walk out from behind the car and go up to the driver’s side window.

 

BURGIS

(rubbing his eyes)

Oh, it is Gracie. I must be seeing things. Hi Gracie. What took you so long?

 

GRACIE

(even more confused)

Uh... I’m not sure.       

 

BURGIS

(without pause)

How long have you been here?- We’ve been here for a long time- What time is it?- Jesus have we been here for a long time- Oh look a kitten!

 

As he walks off, Gracie’s eyes follows him with a very confused look on her face. Coug is more, or less, unphased by his friend’s lack of sanity at this point.

 

GRACIE

Is he alright?

 

COUG

Yea, he’s fine, I think. He’s just gone mad with the cold.

 

GRACIE

Can that happen?

 

COUG

I don’t think so. But it did.

 

GRACIE

      (sing-songy)

Creeeee-ppppy.

 

COUG

So how are you Gracie?

 

GRACIE

I’m doing alright. How about yourself- crazy yet?

 

COUG

I’m getting there.

(a beat)

So what do we owe this pleasure?

 

GRACIE

We?

 

COUG

Well, me and Mr. Burgis.

 

GRACIE

Oh, well actually, I have a message from a mutual acquaintance of ours.

 

COUG

How is your sister?

 

GRACIE

(laughing)

She’s good. It’s funny you should bring her up though, I was just talking about her.

 

COUG

Oh, really, for what reason?

 

GRACIE

To Mike Kurtzman.

 

COUG

Why? D’you lose a bet or something?

 

 

GRACIE

Long story. But he brought up that he used to have a huge crush on her. And how he likes romance.

 

COUG

(laughing)

That’s absolutely the worst thing I’ve heard all day, and I watched Rainny’s brother throw-up like a half-hour ago.

 

GRACIE

(laughing)

What?

 

COUG

Yea, Rainny came through here not too long ago, and stopped to talk to us, and then his brother just started puking. We’ve moved the car since then.

 

GRACIE

(laughing)

It seems that the day has been eventful.

 

COUG

That remains to be seen.

(a beat)

So what’d your sister want to tell me?

 

GRACIE

Oh. Right. Nothing. The message wasn’t from her, it was from Creston.

 

COUG

(with slight desperation)

Oh really, what’d he say? Is he coming soon? Is he coming at all?

 

GRACIE

He said that he’s going to be late, but he’s not sure how late he’s going to be.

 

COUG

      (to himself)

F**k.

(a beat)

Do you think you could call him?

 

GRACIE

Yea, sure, definitely.

 

She pulls out her cell phone, and calls Creston.

 

GRACIE (CONT)

.... It’s ringing.... Answering machine. Leave a message?

 

Coug shakes his head sullenly and Gracie puts her phone back in her purse.

 

COUG

F**k. Thanks though, Gracie.

 

GRACIE

Yea, sorry.

(a beat)

Just what exactly are you guys doing here?

 

COUG

Don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me.

 

GRACIE

Yea, he wouldn’t tell me either.

 

COUG

He just said it was a big surprise.

 

GRACIE

It amazes me that he gets away with it. Y’know, being the way he is.

 

COUG

Yea, but at the same time, it’s not surprising. I mean, it’s not like he’s doing it to be malicious.

 

GRACIE

No, not at all, he’s the nicest guy ever. Maybe that’s how though.

 

COUG

Maybe. He’s just the way he is. And no one seems to mind.

 

GRACIE

But still, you’d think after so many years of him being like this people would just be like ‘F**k you!’

 

COUG

Yea, but he’s a lot like his brother, though. They’re both such charming guys, that no matter what they do, you’re just like, “Well, it’s one of the Waters brothers.”

 

GRACIE

It gets to ridiculous proportions though, sometimes. How long has that thing with been going on with Maggie Edelstein?

 

COUG

(thinking)

A year, I think. At least a year.

 

 

GRACIE

And everyone knows, except for like their boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s f*****g lunacy.

 

COUG

Yea. That amazes me more than anything. It’s like there’s this unspoken agreement between everyone to not rock the love boat.

 

GRACIE

(scoffs)

I do not like that girl.

 

COUG

Maggie?- Yea, she can be a bit...

 

GRACIE

Of a fuckhead.

 

COUG

(laughing)

I was going to say “uppity,” but that works to... I don’t think she’s that bad though.

 

GRACIE

Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t really like her friends, I guess that’s why. Most of those girls from North are such b*****s.

 

COUG

They’re not all that bad. I know a couple good eggs over there. Jackie Mail is pretty good.

 

GRACIE

      (recanting)

Yea, she’s alright. Unfortunately, she’s not one of the ones I’m going to have to deal tonight.

 

COUG

Oh right, that party’s tonight. Is that why you were with Kurtzman?

 

GRACIE

Yea. It better’ve been worth it, too. It’s been a f*****g nightmare planning this thing: we’ve already had to change the house twice. Once to Jenny’s, then just an hour ago to Jessica Henner’s- Are you going to stop by? You should.

 

COUG

I don’t think so. You know me; I’m not really the party guy.

 

GRACIE

Yea, but you should stop by anyway. (>>>)

 

GRACIE (CONT)

(a beat)

Y’know that’s why my sister used to hang out with you. Because you didn’t like to go to parties and stuff like that.

 

COUG

Really?

 

GRACIE

Yea, she said that it gave you character.

 

COUG

(laughing)

That’s strange. I’ve been that lacking today.

 

GRACIE

What?

 

COUG

Nevermind.

(a beat)

You know you’re sister is the only one that ever called me and him...

 

He points to Burgis. We see that when Coug points to Burgis, he’s doing ballet.

 

COUG (CONT)

(confused)

by our real names- Wow, that’s different.

 

GRACIE

(looking at Burgis)

Yes, it is.

(a beat; to Coug)

How long have you guys been out here?

 

COUG

I don’t know.

 

BURGIS (OFF)

THIRD BASE!

 

GRACIE

What?

 

BURGIS (OFF)

SECOND!

 

COUG

(to himself; exasperated)

Oh f**k.

 

 

 

GRACIE

(to Coug)

Huh?

 

COUG

Don’t worry about it.

 

GRACIE

Why?

 

BURGIS (OFF)

LEFT FIELD!

 

COUG

      (to Gracie)

Just quit while you’re ahead.

 

BURGIS (OFF)

SHE’S GOT A BODY TOO!

 

COUG

(to Burgis)

F**k off, Burgis.

 

BURGIS (OFF)

F**K YOU!

 

GRACIE

(to Coug)

And on that note...

 

COUG

Good idea.

 

Gracie puts the car in gear.

 

GRACIE

Oh, if Creston calls me back what should I tell him?

 

COUG

(thinking)

Tell him...

(hesitates)

Tell him you saw us.

 

BURGIS (OFF)

WEAK!!

 

GRACIE

Alright. Well, good luck.

 

COUG

Thanks.

 

 

 

GRACIE

(giving an informal salute)

Marshall.

 

COUG

(saluting back)

Colonel.

 

Gracie drives off. Coug watches the car as it leaves the parking lot. Burgis walks back into frame.

 

BURGIS

      (looking off towards the car)

Who was that?

 

COUG

(looking off towards the car; apathetic)

Gracie.

 

BURGIS

Who?

 

COUG

What happened to the kitten?

 

BURGIS

What kitten?

 

Coug shoots Burgis an “Are you kidding me?” look.

 

BURGIS

What?

 

Coug hits Burgis in the back of the head.

 

BURGIS

Oww, that hurt, dick.

 

COUG

(laughing)

Sorry I didn’t mean it to.

 

BURGIS

(rubbing the back of his head)

F**k you.

(a beat)

But, yea, anyway, I'm pretty sure I've seen at least 70 of those movies. Meaning I've seen at least 500 movies.

 

COUG

No, that means you've seen at least 70 movies

 

BURGIS

Well, no. I'm looking at how many of those I know I’ve seen off the top of my headand then um...(>>>)

BURGIS (CONT)

(thinking)

Uh... oh f**k me...

 

He thinks for a second.

 

BURGIS (CONT)

F**k, what's the word that means predict and make bigger at the same time?

 

COUG

(surprised; thinking)

Um... I don’t know

 

BURGIS

Kind of like if you're planning a party and you invite this many people, but you know way more are going to show up. When you’ve done that you've just...

(thinking)

Uh... f**k. I can't think of that word

 

COUG

Neither can I.

 

BURGIS

F**k, it's literally right there in my head.

 

He closes his eyes.

 

BURGIS (CONT)

Oh, I can f*****g see it

(pointing)

Right there. I just can't grab it.

 

He grabs at the air. Then he opens his eyes and looks at Coug.

 

BURGIS (CONT)

You know?

 

COUG

Yea, it’s like right on the tip of your tongue.

 

BURGIS

Yea.

 

Both of them look down at the ground in thought.

 

COUG

(a beat)

Guesstimate?

 

BURGIS

No it’s classier than that.

 

 

COUG

Estimate?

 

BURGIS

No.

 

COUG

Speculate?

 

BURGIS

No it’s like a... like a technical word I guess.

      (a beat)

The only thing I can think is that it’s used in statistics.

 

Slight pause.

 

COUG

(sudden revelation)

Oh, you mean like extrapolate.

 

BURGIS

EXTRAPOLATE!!! That’s it extrapolate. That's the word

 

COUG

(laughing)

Man, that's one of my favorite words.

 

BURGIS

I was like, “F**k I should know this word, I took statistics,” because I said it all the time there.

 

There is a slight pause as Burgis muses over the fact that he couldn’t think of the word, ‘extrapolate,’ for a second more. And then immediately changes his tone as he goes back to his original point.

 

BURGIS (CONT)

But, I might have to actually write down every movie I can remember seeing, now.  

 

COUG

It'd be weird to do that. It’d be like you were cataloguing your life, or something. Like tallying up how many times have you’ve bought milk, or something like that.

  

BURGIS

But think, 40 full days of watching movies, that seems a little short doesn't it? I mean, I've been around for like 7000 hours and 1000 hours of that may have been spent watching movies.

(a beat)

Wait- No. 7000 days!      

 

 

COUG

It’s a bit less than that. But yea, that's a lot considering a quarter of whatever you’ve lived, you've also spent sleeping.

 

BURGIS

I don’t know. I don't sleep much.

      

COUG

Well, that's why I said a quarter. It should be a third.

      

BURGIS

I've been around for 7000 days, if I watched 500 movies, 40 of those days would have been spent watching them.

      (a beat)

You’ve probably seen over 500 movies.

      

COUG

      (thinking)

No, I'd say three hundred- 250 full, definitely.

      

BURGIS

Oh f**k, good point. Do we count incompletes?

      

COUG

(thinking)

Umm... I would, but if you're taking a time count, then no.

      

BURGIS

I mean I've been watching about 2 new movies a week for 3 years now. Not counting going to the movies, and not counting DVDs.

 

COUG

That's at least 300. And then there's every movie we've watched in school.

 

BURGIS

My God, I wonder how many movies we've seen in theaters without our families. I mean we used to go to the movies at least once a week when it was you me and Chris- well, at least 3 times a month. And when we weren't doing that, we were hanging out watching movies on cable or foreign movies on DVD.

 

COUG

Man, when was the last time we hung out with Chris?

 

BURGIS

      (thinks)

Holy s**t, I have no idea. That’s a bad thing. We need to call him up whenever we’re done with whatever we’re doing here- (>>>)

BURGIS (CONT)

I think I've seen at least 100 sequels

      

COUG

Yea, and that means you've seen at least 200 movies. And that's not even including trilogies

 

BURGIS

The Good The Bad And The Ugly, For A Few Dollars More, Clerks 2, Star Wars Ep. 5, 6, 1, 2, and 3, Two Towers, Return of the King, Azumi 2, Kill Bill Vol. 2, From Dusk Til Dawn 2, From Dusk Till Dawn 3, Aliens, Aliens 3, Aliens Resurrection, AVP2, Predator 2, Land Before Time 2-11, All Dogs Go To Heaven 2-3, The Crow 2. And that's just without even seriously thinking about it.

      

COUG

I’ve seen well over 100 sequels

      

BURGIS

(a beat)

Now I have to make a list. That’s the end of it. I have to do this.

      

COUG

Counting Friday 13th, Childs Play, Jaws, Nightmare on Elm St, Halloween and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. S**t that might be 100 on its own. Ghostbusters 2. F**k, I've seen way too many movies- And TV movies.

 

BURGIS

Oh my God...... TV movies. I didn’t even think of that. That's where I'd lose count

      

COUG

In elementary school I'd stay up every night to watch AMC Horror movies. Who knows how many of those I’ve seen?

 

BURGIS

I may have seen 1000 movies, Coug.

 

COUG

It's entirely plausible

 

BURGIS

      (a beat)

Oh f**k, short films. HBO used to have this series of short films that were like After School Specials. And then there’s documentaries.

 

COUG

I'd say anyone who grew up with a TV in their house has seen at least 500 movies by the time they reach 20... Well maybe 400

 

BURGIS

Man, I really need to make a list now.

      (a beat)

Speaking of people that we haven’t seen in a while, I saw Jesse Otley and Kara in the city the other day.

 

COUG

Bullshit! Where? I thought they’d both died.

 

BURGIS

In the city, when I was running errands.

 

COUG

What happened?

 

BURGIS

Well, I show up at the bus stop to catch my ride home, and Kara's there, and we start having a very normal conversation.

 

COUG

That’s unexpected.

 

BURGIS

It was really awkward to be normal with her around, because, well, she’s not. But, then Jesse shows up.    

 

COUG

Oh, he fucked it up didn’t he?

 

BURGIS

Did. He. Ever. He started telling us about how he'd spent the last three days as a vagrant.      

 

COUG

(flat and confused)

... What?       

 

BURGIS

Yea. That’s what I said. And he does it in a manner that’s sort of similar to as if he'd just been hanging out in the city. Like he was planning on enlisting in the Marine Corps. So when he's coming across the street I go "Hey you enlist yet?" and he goes "Nah, I've just been walking around here for the past three days."

 

COUG

Wait you knew he was enlisting in the Marines?

 

BURGIS

      (laughing)

Oh. Right. Yea, three days before this I saw him at CVS. He was at the bus stop going down to enlist.

 

COUG

(laughing)

Oh ok. See I need to know this stuff prior.

 

BURGIS

Understandably. But as this conversation goes onhe keeps saying things in the manner that doesn't fully address the things he's saying, Kara keeps jumping into the conversation, and starts to unload all the awkwardness she was trying so hard to hide in the conversation we were just having.

 

COUG

Like how?

 

BURGIS

Like me and Jesse are talking about how much dick the Amazon sucks,and I say "I'm f*****g terrified of roaches." And he goes "Yeah but mice are fine, as long as they're not rabid" And then Kara goes "Oh I like rabbits much more than mice."     

 

Coug laughs.

      

BURGIS(CONT)

And it was that for about 15 minutes, at which point the person Jesse is waiting for gets off a bus, and a Jamaican woman is standing next to me.

 

COUG

Wait, was the Jamaican woman there the whole time.

 

BURGIS

F**k no. She just appeared there. And I’m not sure how.

 

COUG

Voodoo?

 

BURGIS

Maybe- but anyway, the Jamaican woman is asking me where to wait for the bus while Jeremy goes across the street with his friend. And the friend was f*****g weird; he literally looked like a Shark from West Side Story. And as I'm telling the Jamaican woman about the buses the cops comes around and start questioning Jesse and patting him down.And the Jamaican woman is like

(with a bad Jamaican accent)

"Is dat 'ow them po-lice abuse you up 'e-are?"

(back to normal)

But I tell her that Jesse is a bit of a problem child, and he probably deserves what he's getting. (>>>)

 

 

BURGIS (CONT)

 Then she goes back to talking on her phone when she says one of the most interesting things I've ever heard a person say. I have no idea what she was talking about, but in that way some people say like "Bless his heart" or "God love him," she goes "God send Pharaoh."      

 

COUG

Wait what?

 

BURGIS

      (slowly)

God. Send. Pharoah.

 

COUG

I have never heard that before, ever.

     

BURGIS

Oh and then as I was coming home, there was some dude with no legs standing on one hand, and playing the harmonica.

 

Coug thinks for a second.

 

COUG

F**k, man, why doesn’t s**t like that ever happen when I’m around?

 

FADE OUT.

Author's Note

(>>>) This means there's a page break during the line.