Barely Begun

Not sure if i should add more. thoughts? ideas?

I missed him. That, that was real. The ache. The burn. The need for him. His touch. His arms. His fingers intertwined with mine. But everything else. Our future. Our hopes. His love. That, that was all a dream. I thought he and I had something special. Something that could last a lifetime, or longer than it did. I didn’t except to lose it. To lose him. But do we ever? Do we ever picture ourselves losing that one person? Losing that one thing that keeps us sane? Or do we picture ourselves happy? And in love? With bright smiles and happy futures. Not with tears streaming down our faces and being alone where no one understands. You think that they’ll be there when you need them most. To stand by you when no one else will. To be there through thick and thin. Believing that nothing could ever tear you apart. But then. You are. Ripped open. I didn’t expect it. He didn’t expect it. No one did. And I, I still don’t believe it. I still believe he’ll come back. That we’ll be together. That they’ll be a time that thoughts of him won’t bring tears to my eyes. A time where we can be happy and in love. But believe as I may, it will never happen. Like the day pigs will fly, it’s impossible. He’s never coming back. But I can’t bring myself to admit it. I just can’t. I mean, could you? Could you just let go of something you loved so much for so long? Just turn the other cheek? Forget? Erase? Could you? COULD YOU? No you couldn’t. And neither can I. I won’t give up. I won’t give in. Won’t throw in the towel. Won’t let go. I’m gonna hold onto him. Remember him. Love him. Breathe him. I refuse to forget! I refuse to accept the truth! This can’t be the end! There is no end! There has barely been a beginning! We’ve barley begun! It can’t be over! It just can’t. So much time lost. Lost hugs. Lost kisses. Lost words. It’s not fair. It’s just not.