Choices

This was something that I just kind of wrote. There was no planning but I liked how it came out.

I feel like writing but I don’t know at to write about. That seems to be the pattern now-a-days. Not knowing. I don’t know if I wanna talk to him. I don’t know if I miss him. I don’t know what to think. I just don’t know. It’s weird though. I’m not used to it. I used to know everything. People used to come to me and depend on me for advice. Now everyone is moving on and I’m, I’m, I’m stuck in place. In an old world. A dead world. A world that no one’s ever gonna go back to. But that world. That’s the only world I know. It was a world that I could count on. Something that would always be there when I wasn’t sure of anything or when I got bored. But no matter what, that world was there. Now it has fallen apart and has died away. So what do I do now? Do I try and reconnect, or do I move on? Do I tell others what I’m feeling? Or do I let it go? See? This is something else I don’t know about. I just. I just don’t know. I miss what I used to have. What we used to have. What everyone used to have. Now everyone’s gonna be back there. And I’ll. I’ll be gone. We’re already growing apart and there’s no stopping it. Eventually we’ll lose touch and that old world will be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. And that will be it. No debates. No second chances. Just done and over it. And when that time comes, I won’t know what to do. And here we are again. Right back to square one. So what do I have to look forward to? Loneliness and disbelief? Being lost in a world where I don’t belong? Never knowing where to turn or what to do next? Have the people I love most move on while I stay in the same old rut? Is this really all I have? My only option? The only possible outcome? It seems that way, but something could change. The futures not written in stone. Well that’s what they say. But how can we be sure? How can we know what we will become? Or what will happen? Or even if we will wake up the next day? The sad truth is, is that we can’t. We’ll never know. Until we take that chance. Or we make that decision. Or we open up our eyes to a new day. But what happens if we don’t want to. What happens if we want to stay hidden in our dream world and not want to wake up? What then? Do we put on a brave face and wake up anyway? Do we place that mask over our true selves and tell them what they want to hear? Or do we continue hiding within ourselves and tell the world to f**k off? Again. Nothing is written in stone. The choice is ours. But back to square one again. I don’t know what to do. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe we’re not supposed to know. Maybe were supposed to be surprised. Like opening a present up on your birthday. But what happens if that present isn’t what u wanted? Should we embrace it and turn it into something new? Or do we refuse to accept and open the next one hoping it’s something better? Once again that choice is ours and sometimes we don’t know which to choose. But I guess that’s the way it’s gonna be. Maybe it will get easier. Maybe it won’t. But I suppose that’s the fact of life. That everyone has their ups and downs. Their good days and bad. The days that u just want to curl up under your covers and forget that the world exists. But whether any of that happens is up to you. The decision, what you make of it, the outcome. All of it. Sometimes you’ll want to make that choice. Sometimes u won’t. Sometimes you’ll be ready for it. Other times you’ll be scared. But the fact remains. The choice is yours.

Reviews

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I like this, i could connect with this in a way. I like what you have penned out. Such emotion in detail.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

absolutely~in the end the reality is that we control our own fate~ we are responsible for our own decisions~ our own reactions~
potent and thoughtful~ always about personal choice~ well written and thoughtful tale~