This Is the Story of a Girl

Hey everyone I need help. I've been working on this for a while and could use some help so please read through and comment! I'd really appreciate it. Thanks! :)

Chapter  1

“I have no other choice!”

“Of course you do! Everyone gets a second chance!”

“Not me!”

“Especially you!”

“Not this time!” And it was with those three words that I watched my friend plummet to her death. I didn’t have to look down to know it. The emergency personnel were waiting nearby, but it would be their job to pronounce her dead. There was no surviving a jump like that. I heard the footsteps behind me as the police raced up the stairs to the roof and I heard them burst through the door and start mumbling things to each other. I didn’t look up as they ran past me and looked down over the ledge. I was frozen in place. Staring at where my best friend had just been.

“Are you alright?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t shake or nod my head. I just stood there. I felt as they helped me down off the roof of the office building. I could feel the breathing of the people around me. The shape of the hand on my back escorting me down the steps as I continued my descent. But I didn’t FEEL anything. For that moment in time, I was dead. My body, it was fine. My lungs still carried oxygen through my body and my heart still pumped blood through my veins. But, in every other sense, I was dead.

Chapter 2

Even now, standing at her funeral, I still can’t believe she’s gone. Liza. My best friend. My partner in crime. My life. "We are gathered here today in remembrance of a girl’s life that ended before her time." I couldn’t listen to the priests words. He’d say how much she was loved and how great she was and how much we will all miss her. He didn’t know the half of it. He barely knew her. He couldn’t even begin to fathom how great her loss would affect us. Me. Liza was incredible. She showed me how precious life really was. She took me and showed me the wonders of the world if I were to just stop and look. I’ll never forget the first time I met her.

She was 16 at the time and it was summer. August 17^th to be exact. I could never forget because it was her birthday. She had a huge party on the beach for all of her friends. I hadn’t been invited but since it was such a nice day I was at the beach anyway with a couple guys from school. We had just come back in from the water when I heard her laugh. It wasn’t anything spectacular but something in it made me turn. That’s when I saw her. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Not because she was tan and blonde, none of that. She had soft brown eyes and chestnut hair that fell just below her chin. What made her beautiful was the aura that fell around her. She was mature beyond her years and you could feel the charisma pour off of her. SMACK. A Frisbee smacked me hard in the back of my head and I turned to see all my friends snickering behind me. “You’re staring bro.” I turned a beat red as I realized he was right.

S**t I thought to myself as I realized that she probably saw me staring too.

“Awww look he’s blushing! How cute!” I stormed off not wanting to have to listen to their bullshit. I started up a light jog and that’s when I heard her scream. I turned and saw Marcus, one of the guys I was with, standing over Liza. "What’s wrong baby? Don’t you like him too?" I was pissed. How dare he threaten her? Someone so beautiful should not be treated like that. What really got me was that he was torturing her about me, and that was enough to push me over the edge. I couldn’t contain my rage. I charged full speed at Marcus. "See look here he comes now." I was closing in. "Sorry dude doesn’t seem like she’s that into you. Maybe we’ll have to change her mind" I wasn’t 20 feet away when he finally realized that I wasn’t going to stop. "Dude what are yo-" before he could finish his sentence my fist went smashing into his nose sending him flying off her. Broken. Good. By now her friends had cleared out but the guys I was with had formed a circle around us as I waited for Marcus to stand up. Finally he got to his feet “Dude what the f**k was that?!?” I didn’t let him get in another word as my fist made contact with his jaw. This sent Marcus back into the group that had formed around us and he collapsed in a heap on the ground. I couldn’t deal with this anymore. I turned back around and sprinted back down the beach. I wasn’t sure of where I was going but it was somewhere far from there. After about 10 minutes or so I lost my pace and stopped to around look out over the horizon. The sun was setting and I guessed the time was about 6:30.

"You didn’t have to beat him up you know. I can handle myself." I wasn’t surprised to hear the girl’s voice behind me.

"Marcus is an idiot. He had it coming." I should’ve turned to face her but I couldn’t. It wasn’t because I was too proud or arrogant, I was ashamed that I had acted like that in front of her and didn’t want her to see that in my expression.

 “Coming or not, every life is precious.” That one took me by surprise; I turned around.

“Precious? Marcus is a scum bag. A low life. Drugs. Drinking. He’s a mess. Maybe that will help straighten him out."

"Violence never solves anything," she shot back. Ok now this girl was starting to get to me. Who did she think she was talking to? Preaching to a bunch of preschoolers about why hitting is bad?

"Sorry but I tend to disagree."

"And why is that?"

“Because sometimes a little punch is just what you need to get your point across." Satisfied with my answer I turned back to the water hoping she’d get the hint and leave.

"You’re lying." Of course she wouldn’t go.

"Excuse me?" I turned to face her because this had to be good.

"You’re lying. I can see it in your eyes. You’re not a violent person. You’re confused. And ashamed. That wasn’t a genuine answer, that was you trying to get me to leave"

S**t. She knew I was upset. But how? Usually my façade is foolproof. How did she know?

“I’m also almost positive that you aren’t really friends with those guys, you just want to fit in and until you admit that to yourself, you’ll never find peace. By the way, my names Liza." And with that she stalked off back to where her party once had been. I stood there, mouth open, staring back, gaping at how she knew me better than anyone and I had just met her.

"Caleb." I said to her back as she continued to walk down the beach

Chapter 3

A tear rolls down my cheek and travels around my smile as I remember how much Liza had intimidated me that day. We all stand and gather around Liza’s casket, saying our last good-byes. I whisper a prayer to the white rose I hold in my hand before laying it with the other roses on top of her casket. White roses were always her favorite. Everyone begins to file back to their cars, leaving Liza in her final resting place. I let my hand sweep across the wood one last time before turning and letting Liza rest in peace.

Chapter 4

“Come on Caleb it’ll be fun!”

“No it won’t Liza.”

“Caleb don’t you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“So let’s go!”

“There is no way in HELL you are getting me to go down that thing!” I was staring up at the flimsy wire of the Wildcat Mountain zip line. My parents decided to take a “family vacation” to New Hampshire. After that day at the beach, Liza and I had only grown closer. I had discovered that it was just Liza and her dad; her mom had died when she was only three. Our parents had really hit it off at our summer end BBQ and had talked ever since so when we traveled to New Hampshire from our quaint Armona, California home, Liza and her dad tagged along. To my dismay, our parents suggested we go off on our own “adventure”. I should’ve known this would be trouble. Liza was always the more adventurous type where I enjoyed both my feet flat on the ground. So it wasn’t surprising that Liza would choose zip lining to occupy our time knowing that I HATE heights.

“Let’s go buy tickets!”

“Liza please don-“ but it was too late. She had already bounded into the ticket line and before I knew it I was looking out over the White Mountains from a very shaky ski lift. It was mid-October and there was a chill in the air. I shivered and tried to relax. “I can NOT believe you are making me do this.”

“It will help you get over your fear.”

“What happens if I don’t want to get over it?”

“Oh suck it up.” We hit the top of the mountain and got strapped into our harnesses.

“I hate you” were the only words I could get in before the gates dropped and we were flying through the air. I gripped the line that held my entire life and looked over to Liza praying she was freaking out as much as I was, but no. She looked breathtaking. Her arms were outstretched and her now mid-back length brown hair flew behind her. A smile drew across her mouth and her eyes brightened like a little girl on Christmas Day. Watching Liza made me relax a little bit and enjoy what I was doing. Most of the leaves had changed to their reds, oranges, and yellows and it really was beautiful. The mountains gave the landscape depth and when we met the ground I felt as if our ride had ended too soon.

“So didn’t I tell you it wouldn’t be that bad?” I didn’t reply but instead I enveloped her into my arms and held her as the magical feeling of our trip died down. “I’ll take that as a yes” she giggled as she wriggled out of my embrace and we walked back towards the car.

“I’ll never forgive you for this you know.”

“I know Caleb. I know…..”

Chapter 5

Waking up in my bed, my vision is blurred with tears for my lost best friend. I let out a wail and bury my face in my pillow. I didn’t care who heard or what they thought of me, I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. My chest heaved as my breath came fast and the tears kept falling. Sobs broke through my lips and my body curled up as I tried to will the hurt away. It was too much. Why did she have to go? She was so good and so young and so… so…. Another sob broke out clouding my thoughts and causing me to break. By now I had cried out all my tears and it was nothing but gasps for breath and coughing. Eventually the tears dried and I could finally breathe. I reached into my bedside table and pulled out my five star notebook and bic pen. I opened it up to a clean sheet of paper and began to write:

Love. What a stupid word

Who knew its whole concept could be so absurd?

How do we know when we feel love?

Or if it’s something we’ll grow tired of?

But does it matter how we really feel?

Because a broken heart will never fully heal

We’ll always be left with some kind of scar

     Reminding us of who we are                     

And how we never thought the hurt would end

And the break in our heart would never mend

So that’s why I’m trying to feel nothing at all

So I don’t have to worry when I’m going to fall

Maybe I’ve had it wrong all these years

Maybe I don’t have to shed all of these tears

Because who really knows what love is all about?

And has anyone taken the time to figure it out?

When I was finished writing the last word, I closed the cover and kissed where Liza had written “Liza was here”. I wish you were here now, I thought to myself as I put the notebook and pen back into the drawer and rolled over. I would give anything to have you back…. But I stopped that thought right there. I had to stop torturing myself over something I had no control over. I closed my eyes and pulled my blankets tight around me as another tear escaped my lids and slid down my cheek.

Chapter 6

Vanilla. Vanilla, smoke, and……dirt. I open my eyes to see Liza’s soft brown hair sticking out in every direction as she sleeps not two feet in front of me. Some of her hair had found its way into my face and that’s what I had been smelling. I smiled as she let out a deep snore. I’ll have to remember to make fun of her for that later. I sat up to stretch and my hand hit the top of the tent. I grumbled. “Right, I’m camping,” I whispered as I shook my head. I loathed camping. When I was six my Uncle Kenny had taking me out for a weekend of camping and fishing up in Canada. While on his boat a huge fish had grabbed onto my bait and pulled me overboard. Ever since I have hated the idea of cramming my whole life into a beat-up tent and spending the night sleeping on the cold, hard, unforgiving ground. But Liza was here, so it wasn’t a total loss. She rolled over and snuggled deeper into the sleeping bag. “She’ll be out for a while,” I breathed as I unzipped the tent and stepped out into the crisp morning air.

“Hey! Look who’s finally up!” I turned to see John and Andrew staring at me from across the fire pit.

“Yeah I figured I should probably get up considering you guys couldn’t live without my wisdom and guidance.”

“Ha!” They both laughed before returning to the egg they were trying to scramble. John and Andrew were two of my best, and only, friends from high school. They thought it would be a great idea to take their girlfriends, Kelly and Mikayla, camping. They invited me and Liza to tag along with them. Of course Liza said yes without even considering my input and that’s how I ended up here, watching two boneheads try to scramble eggs over ash.

“For crying out loud, your camping skills are almost impossible to watch.” I mocked as I grabbed some kindle and tried to start another fire.

“Well I’m sorry we couldn’t all be cute little boy scouts like certain people,” Andrew shot back. The three of us laughed as a rustle came from John’s tent and Kelly came staggering out.

“I heard laughing. It’s way too early to be laughing,” Kelly sputtered as she groggily made her way into John’s arms.

“The other girl’s aren’t up yet,” John informed her.

“What? No. If I’m up this early everyone’s gonna be up. LIZA! MIKAYLA! GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS OUTTA BED. There, that should do it.”

Andrew, John, and I stared wide-eyed as Mikayla and Liza slowly made their way out of the tents and over to us. “Kelly, I swear to God, one day I am going to kill you.” Liza was always so pleasant in the morning.

”Alright, alright, just everyone calm down and eat some breakfast.” Andrew loaded the last of the eggs onto a plate and we all began to feast. After breakfast we loaded up the car and headed for the mountains. A morning of hiking and an afternoon of rest, sounded perfect. We pulled into the little parking lot labeled “Climbers Only” and grabbed our backpacks and one by one we made out trek up Tivy Mountain.

Chapter 7

I can’t focus anymore. Nothing in my life has meaning. Yes, I know its cliché. How one girl could be the center of my life, of my world. But that’s just it; she wasn’t just the center of my world, she was my world. And her loss sent everything I have ever known spiraling downward. The perfectly sculpted façade Liza had met that day at the beach was gone, shattered. I have no control anymore. When I’m angry, I lash out. When I’m sad, I burst into tears. And when I’m happy, wait, I’m never happy.

People say I’m inconsolable. That I’ve reached a point of pure devastation. That I need help. Well excuse me if I’m not about to accept their “It’ll get better” and “She’s in a better place now” speeches. I could give a s**t less that she’s “in a better place.” She was fine where she was. Here, on Earth, with me. I kept her safe in my arms; she knew I would’ve taken any bullet for her. So no, I don’t believe it’ll get better either.  You know what though? It’s not even the people who try and make me feel better that piss me off the most. It’s the f*****g people who try and tell me that “I’ll find someone else. And maybe they’ll be even better!”

I punched a kid for telling me that. He said that I shouldn’t be so hung up on a girl who was so low on the food chain. That there were tons of “hotter girls that would take my mind off of her.” He rode home in an ambulance that day. Liza wasn’t hot, she was beautiful. And there is no one in this world who is ever going to take her place.

 

 

Chapter 8

I can’t believe I’m saying it; I’m in love with Elizabeth Amber Murphy. I’m not sure when it happened, or how, but I fell in love. It feels right though. Here now, with her in my arms, I’m at peace. Her head on my chest, her fingers intertwined with mine. I can feel her body as it raises and falls with each breath. It sounds crazy, but I think even our heartbeats are in sync with one another. I didn’t realize it was possible to fall this deeply in love with just one person.

“Whatcha thinkin about?” I look down and Liza’s big brown eyes are staring up at me. Her hair sweeps across her cheek in the breeze and I slide my hand down to wisp it back in place behind her ear with the others.

“You,” I breathe as I lean down and rest my head on top of hers.

“Good,” She giggles back.

I feel the questioning look upon my face. “Why’s that?”

“Because I’m thinking about you too, silly.” Her laugh fills the air around us and my heart warms at the answer. Just what I wanted to hear. I pull my arm up off her shoulders and force her to sit up a little. Just before she gets a chance to ask, my hand caresses her chin and turns her face towards mine. I lean in slightly and kiss that perfect smile. I feel her wrists snake around my neck and she locks hands somewhere behind me but I don’t care. This is all I’ve ever wanted. And suddenly, I feel tears well in my eyes. Liza is that missing piece in my soul. God, I’m starting to sound like a Nicholas Sparks novel, but how could I not? I love this woman. Liza eventually breaks off the kiss and leans back into my chest.

“Wow,” I whisper, barely audible over the chirps of the birds in the trees above us.

“I know,” she whispers back. “I love you Caleb.”

At first I thought I was hearing things. Maybe my shirt muffled her voice and she meant to say “I’m hungry Caleb” or “I’m tired Caleb.” But the feeling in the air convinced me that I was right and that sent a shiver down my spine. “I love you too, Liza,” and my voice was carried off in the breeze. 

Chapter 9

I hurl my phone into the wall, smashing it to pieces. I can’t care. The shattered screen no longer says “I love you too Caleb.” I might regret that one later. But now? No. Now I’m just in a fit of rage. She had no business leaving here, leaving me. It was selfish of her! Because things weren’t going right for her she CHOSE to leave! It was a DECISION! We could’ve moved on, put it behind us. We could’ve gone back to that night, back to any night after she came into my life because every moment after that first day at the beach was perfect. But no, she just couldn’t have that. I push everything from my bedroom desk right onto the floor.

“SHE LEFT ME,” I shout. “SHE F*****G LEFT ME!”

I tear the pictures of us from my walls, throw the drawings we had made when we baby sat her little cousins into the trash. I grab the handfuls of letters she had written me and crumple them in my hands, throwing them to the floor. I rip the chain she bought me for our six month anniversary from my neck and that’s when I broke. I collapse to the floor, tears blurring my vision. “Why Liza, WHY!”  I wail, my fingers and the chain grabbing at my hair. “W-w-why did you have to go?”

I pick up the balls of paper from the floor. Unfurling one of them and reading it over:

My Dearest Caleb ,

                        It’s been a whole year since we’ve met, can you believe it? Do you remember that day? You thought you were so cool and such a badass for punching Marcus or whatever in the face haha. Well, I didn’t want to admit it then, but it was pretty hot :P Sighh, I honestly don’t even know what to write for you. I mean, there aren’t words for the feelings I have for you. There’s nothing but raw emotion. You’ve never given up on me and that means the most. You’re the absolute nicest guy I’ve ever known and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.  You’ve changed me for the better Caleb, you really have. I’m a better person because of you, and I’ve fallen even more in love with you because of it. I truly love you Caleb, with my whole heart and soul. Happy one-year of knowing each other baby. <3

 

         With Love,

               Liza

With tears streaming down my face I place the letter next to the framed picture of us my mom took on our first date. God I love this girl. “Loved this girl, Caleb. You loved that girl.” Knowing my conscience is right, I lay down on my bed, curling my body around my pillow. “No, I still love her. I loved her then, now, and I always will.”