Affinity

This was inspired by my desire to look inside other people's heads and included my desire to know my mother's thoughts as well, which is where the cord and all that came from.

 

Swimming

Inside

squeezed by walls that pump life

soaked in waters that share her mind

extracting the code

whole

before the cord clamped tight

severed and shriveled

 

I want to crawl inside

the seat of your intention

if pennies bought thoughts

I’d dive flailing into fountains

grabbing handfuls of copper

throwing them to the wind

waiting with ragged breathe

for your confessions

 

Dancing inside this ephemeral glow

I am barefoot in the dirt

my toes tapping your beat

our insides in perfect rhythm

skins draped over me

in this tribal ceremony

feeling the blood

drip over my eyes

tasting the salt on my lips

the veil between us, torn

 

With a scalpel

I tenderly open your heart

carefully dissect each vein

to see what courses through

color myself red

looking frantically

to find myself there

 

 

Reviews

[Ebby]

Samith, your review is a little pretentious. I will be popping over to your page to see if there is reason for your arrogance.

Kristina. Your images of birth and of a desperation for understanding and a closeness missed, are most touching. Some of your lines are outstandingly well written and with beautiful content. Some of my favourites:


With a scalpel
I tenderly open your heart
carefully dissect each vein
to see what courses through
color myself red
looking frantically
to find myself there

Thank you so much for inviting me to read this. Kindest regards. :)

[I Am Q]

I truly missed your writing.

After a few reads, this poem makes me think of that special bond between mother and child.
"Swimming
Inside
squeezed by walls that pump life
soaked in waters that share her mind
extracting the code
whole
before the cord clamped tight
severed and shriveled "

This stanza is giving an almost literal meaning to that unbreakable connection between mother and child. you then use a completely different set of imagery to show the unified bond and love that comes from carrying a child. At least, that's what I got. The rest of the poem made me think of how someone would like nothing more to than to be one with another person. Such a subject is nearly universal, but in the context of mother and child, I was thinking perhaps the mother wanting to know what the child would be thinking after they were born.

"I want to crawl inside
the seat of your intention
if pennies bought thoughts
I would dive flailing into fountains
grabbing handfuls of copper
throwing them to the wind
waiting with ragged breath
for your confessions "

That stanza especially, made me think of a mother trying to figure out what truly lives inside her child.

I really did miss your writing.

[Steven Szepietowski]

It's easy to bash poetry, the further from the source it gets even easier. Further down it it's easiest to bash and not give reasons why!

I'm not surprised the guy is no longer here. I'm sure his uselessly negative reviews were not recieved well. I've always thought buddhists tend to be pretentious, if they aren't far along the path.Anyways, I liked the poem, jumping in, then out, then slicing it up. I would be diving into fountains too if that were true. This poem is just so earnest, like that every emotion is justified.

[Michael Lasalle]

Kris, this left me absolutely stunned, wow,
thank you for sharing, powerfully scribed,
this is an illustrative surrender of emotion,
the imagery is grandiosely twisted in an
artfully poetic way, galvanized by matters
of the heart, excellence as only you can peace, mike

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Beautiful and eerie searching the bloodstream for bits of oneself in someone else. I like the penny notion too. great job!

[Bubo]

Samith was having a field day yesterday..........what an arse.

I thought this was deeply raw, intense giving many images from birth, to loss to desperation...........

I want to crawl inside
the seat of your intention
if pennies bought thoughts
I�d dive flailing into fountains
grabbing handfuls of copper
throwing them to the wind
waiting with ragged breathe
for your confessions

Such imagary in this stanza alone, the thought of diving into wishing fountains to obtain confessions was so well done.
The last stanza yet again reminding of a birth and entering into the world.A powerful piece.

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

this is amazing, the ritualistic nature brings forth many ideas, meshing with the images you paint here, i found myself catching my breath once or twice. thank you~john

[Samith Pich]

wow.. this poem would've been quite pathetic if it wasn't for the brilliance of your 2nd & 3rd stanza.

I want to crawl inside
the seat of your intention
if pennies bought thoughts
I�d dive flailing into fountains
grabbing handfuls of copper
throwing them to the wind

damn! i'm getting horny just thinking about it! lol

do this poem a favour, keep stanza 2 & 3 and ditch everything else, ditch them hard. your poem would remain quite structurally intact & mostly cohesive.

wow... such a bad ending...