Her name

About a girl I came in contact with who was dying and the idea that people that make impressions on us follow us through life in a way, like silent ghosts because we have been changed by them somehow.

I am never alone.

 

I am surrounded by specters.

They speak to me.

My flesh is formed by their smoky wisps.

Their longing reaches through me,

grasping pieces of my life

through skeletal fingertips.

Their burdens are as real to me as hunger.

They are my breath;

the air that lifts my chest is their soldier's marching cry.

When I see the sun set, it is with their eyes.

They are multitudes, legions...

 

but one,

is a girl.

I never knew her name.

I don't know where she came from.

People came and went in that place.

I found her in his bedroom.

He was an old man, just out of prison.

She was just a girl, like me.

I had a child growing in my womb,

so I felt I was her mother too.

I never spoke a word to her

but I listened outside the door

while she struggled with demons.

 

We were alone together in a house

full of a silence that screamed so loud

it knocked down walls and crushed souls.

In my mind, I held her while she cried,

stroked her bald head, told her she was beautiful.

In reality, I hid around the corner

each time she came out of the bathroom.

 

Once, I offered her a light.

I brought her to my bedroom.

We watched TV without speaking.

I felt how tired she was,

that there were no words

for the despair, the disease

that was eating her;

no words that would fit into my world,

my round belly mocking her.

 

We sat together,

death and life,

sharing a cigarette.

 

And one day she just wasn’t there.

I don't know where she went

and I never knew her name.

But she follows me

wherever I go

silently

screaming at me.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dean's Mommy :)]

wow. this is really good. but i dont really understand the middle. it kind of skips around a lot and i was kind of confused. ill read it again. oh so she had cancer and you were her nurse? or were you pregnant and had the same hospital room? i kind of get it. its really powerful, and really beautiful in a disturbing kind of way. nice job on the imagery. lovely, keep on writing.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This poem aches to read. It aches for this girl whom I also never knew. How can we even imagine her despair? These lines really clarify the contrast perfectly ...

"We sat together,
death and life,
sharing a cigarette."

[Gus McFarland]

I am not certain if this is something that is sad, or something that should make me smile. In the end, It brought a smile. I turned to listen for some voice. There was none.

The reviews seem to vary. One doesn't get it at all, it seems. Inside of me, I must say, the silent screams that you portray cause this to be a memorable work of art.

And so... I read on.

Gus

[Eagle Cruagh]

A fascinating study of life and death.
Morbidly sad, but at the same time
a breath of fresh air. It is real, about
life as it really is.
Drama etched in mystery. The unknown
and there is no solution, the story shall
always remain dank and powerful in your
mind, engraved on your soul.

I am terribly impressed by this story and by
the author. If only there was time to reread
the story and do it justice.

For now I will confess , your story is brilliant.
-----100 %
-------Eagle Cruagh

[AK]

The last five lines are haunting. It reminds me of my ex-wife!

[Petmeds]

Heart wrenching...

[Tallulah]

This is sad. i like a lot. it creates a beautiful story. I love it.