I really loved this piece. You really captured me and my thoughts completely with this piece. Your imagery cause my imagination to really run out of control as I have read this like 10 times now trying to pick which part was my favorite but as a whole this piece is perfectly beautiful. From the ideas that you present and the way you displayed life as being the scar or a badge of honor. As we get older and life goes on we collect more badges with the years and wisdom we gain through living.
Another beautiful piece filled with life's truths. Perhaps it was because I just finished writing a poem about the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, but the poem immediately reminded me about stanza XV, the blowing rose:
Look to the blowing Rose about us-"Lo,
Laughing," she says, "into the world I blow,
At once the silken tassel of my Purse
Tear, and its Treasure on the Garden throw."
Now Khayyam was fixated on the death of the Rose and its short time in the world, but you remind us of the future and what will arise again from the Rose. That's a thought from which we can take comfort.
The narrower the poem, the more focused you need to be to appreciate it, at least for me. This captures a wonderful image of life cycle, and yet the emotion, the reaction to this, is much more scant, the language is very subtle. Words like "Decay" and "badge of death" seem to give some indicators, but still, it seems caught up in the middle ground somewhere. After each sad image there is an equal beautiful statment, "Like the scars she wears" and then "Whose beauty lies in the ground" I like that. It's often hard to extract feelings from the subject, hard to come to grips with the notion of mortality. But these makes it sound so beautiful.
Births is a good word. It reminds me of my advanced composition teacher, who was stricly anti-passive voice. She said, "was born" was the only excusable use of passive voice in professional writing, because people don't use "She birthed me" in conventional language. I found that quite funny, but it is true. I have been striving to find other uses of active "birth" ever since, and I approve of this usage.
"The forgotten fragrance that made tomorrow" i like this line, a perfect ending, and very much true, forgotten, but only in memory, and for some reason, "made tomorrow" sounds real hip.
"this badge of death that births"..........wonderful really wonderful...I am green with envy wishing I had wrote this line!!.......the finite and the infinate......
Very nice imagery; illustrates the "circle of life" idea effectively. Very logical in the presentation of the concept, but the presentation is undeniably poetic. A very solid piece of writing.
Kristina,
you finished this poem to perfection,
written with eloquence and heart,
touchingly beautiful, depthful
rendering portraying those who dwell
in our hearts, from a time past,
wow! peace, mike
I write. Read me.
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, la.. more..