save the day

long the gears have slowed their turn,
blunt edge blurs each mindful stare,
watchful state does not discern,
accelerated, life, it burns.

lost the gaze, the dreamers yearn,
untethered feet do not return,
lucid gaze succumbs to rust,
hazed, the mirror, collects more dust.

too late we see what we have lost,
life a dream, life is lost,
as Earth meanders on her path,
her past forgotten, her past is passed.

onwards, the darkness calls,
observers perish, darkness falls,
time itself, deconstructs,
a universe falls to dust.

each history, book bound, staid,
its furthest reaches always fade,
what hope have we, in slow decay
to leave our mark, to save this day?

Reviews

[Stonz P.]

You have a good hold over meter and rhyme. The flow is almost seamless..
And yeah, your imagery is so clear..

"lucid gaze succumbs to rust,
hazed, the mirror, collects more dust." These lines spoke to me

The theme of your poem progresses so well... I could relate to it. This is a great write..

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you for your review and kind words :)

[MomzillaNC]

Very nice meter. A desperate need to inspire, to create, to leave a mark… all to what purpose? In the end, "all is dust," as says, Pushkin

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you for taking the time to review! :) Whilst not the subject of the poem, about 8 years ago a death had a great effect on me. I had a sudden desire to create, and produce something that would last. It was the spark that started me writing poetry and posting it online. Perhaps it explains the sombre note in a lot of my poems too? :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

Perhaps it does explain a propensity for sombre prose. I'm sorry I missed the meaning you intended. But, that's the glorious thing about poetry… the words spun out spell a different dance for every reader.

[Christopher Withers]

I don't think you missed it, your comments were very astute ;) But I agree with the your sentiments regarding peotry. Poems which pretty much leave me in awe seem to have little effect on others (fyi poems I love: 'pity this busy monster, manunkind' by E. E. Cummings, 'The song of the happy shepherd' by Yeats and 'A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky' by Lewis Carroll).

[MomzillaNC]

Oh my goodness! I could never name just a few poems that light the fires of my inspiration! There're are just too many to name!

[Christopher Withers]

I agree with you there! The three poems I mentioned above are the ones which introduced me to poetry, so they hold a special place :).

[MomzillaNC]

I started writing poetry long before I began reading it. But, I could never get enough of beautifully written words… I was a bibliophile from the very beginning!

[Derrick Bower]

I absolutely love this poem. It really captures, i think, a lot of how I feel when I look around myself and the world but you do it in such a beautiful way. Above all of that the rhymes in this poem are done so well. Usually when reading a poem the rhymes feel so forced and unnatural, but here everything FITS.
100/100
completely flawless, in my eyes

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you for the praise, and for taking time to review it. It is very much appreciated :).

[thewholesoul]

solid rhyme structure - nice meter - it has a sadness to it and ended on a pessimistic note. very good read nonetheless.