scene from my window

rainfall paints the car park with a darker hue, giving

depth to its once flat surface, so that headlights 

drill down and refract, in its now mirrored facade.

the world slowly melts, as a thousand drummers beat

against my window, falling as a single sheet towards 

the sill. 

dark shapes, people, walk swiftly by: faceless, 

beheaded by their own umbrellas, but, it is no different

from a sunny day, when stern faces, and frosty

indisposition, takes the place of covered face.

Reviews

[Stonz P.]

Bravo, bravo, this is just phenomenal!
You write so well.

The imagery just embeds into the mind's eye. And the profound insight in the last stanza is just too good.

It is just so pathetic of that person to have stolen your works. I hope he meets his Karma real quick!!

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you for the kind (amazing) words. I'm perhaps a bit self-conscious in regards to putting my writing "out there", so it means a lot when someone enjoys what I write.

[Stonz P.]

I can understand.
Just filter out the useless people, like I do, every few months. That way you'll keep a record of the genuine people.

[Stonz P.]

And hey, just read your tagline.
Do you read Rumi? I mean his works and not just the internet quotes.

[Christopher Withers]

I've read some books of his translated poetry, which I love. There is still a lot more to read though!

[Beccy]

This is top shelf all the way. Acutely drawn detail throughout, and that telling last stanza sings loud and clear how we build those oft time impenetrable walls.

Very much enjoyed, thank you for sharing.

Beccy.

[B.J]

How I imagine the world from my window. Great words to ponder on

[thewholesoul]

really liked this one - it touches on the disconnectedness of individuals in modern society. covered, busy, under stress, no time for a smile or a hello. I am guilty of it myself sometimes. very well written too, "a thousand drummers beat against my window" was my favorite line. best wishes

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you thewholesoul!

I'm always left bemused at peoples avoidant behaviour towards (friendly) strangers. As beings, we crave connection, yet, outside of our small circle, we tend to build up impenetrable walls, or think the worst. I have a feeling my experiences might partially stem from the fact that I live in England!

[NoelHC]

I like how you have set the scene, and expressed the tone and feel of this day, and extended it to represent other days.
Well worded.

[Christopher Withers]

Thank you NoelHC :)

This was my attempt at following a "poetry course" and doing the suggested exercises! I should really start writing a bit more seriously again!