Christmas?

This poem is for God.

Hear the hustle and bustle of the "Holiday" crowds

Sounds vibrating strong with purpose and dedication

Endless rivers of cash spent buying every this and every that

Gifts and presents for one and for all on this special occasion

Santa and reindeer perched on every grassy front lawn

Light decoration displays that turn darkened night into day

Ornaments and bobbles hung from trees with such care

Glittery strands draped on each wall and in every doorway

Endless cooking and baking for such elaborate feasts

Seasonings and spices luring our guests to the table

Leaving our special loved one's never wanting for more

While chatting about dear memories of the past til unable

Remembering to include every relative and friend

and even those we don't know all so well

The season is truly a time for love, joy, and giving

down to every infinite detail

 

Yet something is not right, we are left somewhat empty.....

Something must be missing or not taken to excess

Have we forgotten someone somewhere on our lists

If we each stop to think and listen very hard

we can get past our own mortal bliss

 

To hear a CHRISTmas tear falling to hit the ground.

Reviews

[misha]

This is really good. i love how you capitalized the Lords name in Christmas. Beautiful poem.

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Patty,
I like the subject and the underlying theme. I am not sure of the poetry aspect of it though. I didn't feel the rhythm or meter, nor did I find a rhyme. It could be you were going for the spoken word styling. I must admit there are times when I do not get that styling. So I went back to look at it from a storymaking standpoint. Does it have continuity, flow, word pictures to draw the reader in?

The first stanza really does create that hustle and bustle and worry that goes with the holiday seaason in North America. I like the break for stanza two and redirection in thought. The use of caps for CHRIST in CHRISTmas reiterates without directly saying it "Keep Christ in Christmas." And you communicate the sorrow, the tear hitting the ground.

The idea is good and sound. The execution was a little vague. You certainly can take this concept and turn it into a heart grabber with a little rework.

Overall. I liked where you were going with this one.

Doc.

[~crazy Beautiful~]

Very creative way to say we really sometimes forget what christmas is all about. I like the ending very much, thank you for entering my contest