our house in the woods

there were many lines

crossed without me realising 

only occurring now

that somehow something has

changed

like dawn

your beauty came slowly

and then suddenly

it was light

and I gasped, surprised

seemingly overnight

you had become a woman

growing curves

and your hair so glossy

where had the awkward child

I had once known gone?

we are friends

out of years

and skin

and smiles

but I cannot deny

if it is more than miles

that distances us

hurting you

so many times in our youth

foolishness, I pushed you away

now you may never

let me in again

we moved beyond words

eons ago

content with each other’s company

but now I desperately yearn

for something more

I am too scared to ask

all these questions

I have repressed over the years

could you love me?

do you care for someone else?

could even love anyone at all?

but I fear to open my stupid mouth

and whisper words

that may do more harm than good

you always fell asleep so quick

and I don’t want to wake you now

instead

it is I who has woken up

to the reality that

‘we’ might never happen at all

I am sorry 

for the pain I caused you

and perhaps the pain

I am to unleash yet

always being good

at twisting the knife in

my homecoming is nearing

and now when I dream

it is of standing at your front-door 

baking in your kitchen

running in the garden at midnight

turning back time to a place

where we were innocent

care-free

and you still trusted me