best left unsaid

I was fine until last night

when your sweet face 

appeared in dream-form

like a jolting warning to me

the fact I enjoyed far more

embracing your spectral shape

than the one who left behind

golden hairs in my bed

scares me

I get what I want

in some kind of twisted way

yes we did spend the night

but not in the way I imagined

and with the other,

not the ecstasy I craved for

but something that sinks inside

perhaps I want you more

because the pursuit has not

and will never be fulfilled

but with your opposite

her walls are already crumbling

and I loathe myself

for this destructive behaviour

hunting like a fevered predator

but cold, dead when captured

wanting to be alone again

perhaps I am jealous

of what you have

a bond wanting not desire

but something deeper

seeing the way it consumes you

becoming even more beautiful

looking at him so earnestly 

but I can set aside my feelings now

learned to swallow unspeakable things

so much rather you be happy

in love at last

than me shattering the friendship we share

Reviews

[Rossen]

So clear and easy for me to read. The truth is I get distracted so easily, but
not with any of your writings. that is to say you hold my attention with the
pads of your fingers tips, I get you.
Rossen

[Alicia Schroeder]

this is sad and beautiful.. So hard when wanting to be embraced by another and their heart is with someone eles. Great write