daybreak

so here it is:

your virgin poem

the maiden voyage of my words

flowing from my pen to your lips

each curved letter

learning more, knowing itself

just like you and me

you are around my neck

in the shape of your soft red scarf

lounging playfully 

your scent I’m still learning

we play at fighting

teasing, silky words that poke

yet we know it’s this

that we are struggling against

and the battle continues at night

pushing off the image of your face

punching the pillow in anger

you’ve kidnapped sleep

but your fragility scares me

so careful not to let myself go

yet knowing that’s why I desire you

when dreaming does come

it is full of your small exquisite mouth

doing more than just talking

once again in that house I haunt

but now a different room

hoping it’s not a fleeting visit

because the beds are made

the place-mats laid out

just waiting for you to come home

so I can rest at last

Reviews

[Devons]

This has the feel of a secret raging longing that comes as a love letter written but never to be sent. In fact, almost as much of a prayer to oneself as a plea to the object of one's desires. It is written cleanly and smoothly, with a consummate air of authority and intelligence and rationality. It isn't gushing; yet self-aware and with an air of practical restraint. Skilfully and somewhat silkily done...
"and the battle continues at night
pushing off the image of your face
punching the pillow in anger
you’ve kidnapped sleep"

[GTVile]

I love the mysterious element here. It explains a lot, but also leaves the reader wanting to learn more about the circumstances surrounding it. My favorite is the second to last stanza because it explains so much of what so many people go through in serious and long term relationships. The mystique and the draw of a person who's innermost feelings you have become acquainted with and the fear of becoming too entwined in that. I love it.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

the intricacies of bonding deep yet desperate to keep an inch for self to keep hold of emotional streams~ scenic in its emotive pull~ saturates the mind like prismatic stained glass~