Silence

so there it was;

your heavy silence

almost choking, thick

with shame and sickness

suffocating me whole

but we held the knowledge fast

of what I had done, so blindly.

I knew you had seen it all

the confession of emotion,

my brand of weakness laid bare

it was the only way you knew,

how else could you deal with me?

better than waste useless words

that run nowhere and bitter sighs

that mark a hate that should love

but I had longed for those words

of course, that were never to fall

like jewels from your filthy mouth

it would have been some salvation

after the long drawn out days of waiting

and now I stand at a cross-road

between rehabilitation and re-attempt

do I face out the cold starless night ahead

or try to grasp once again, foolishly,

for something that will never be mine?