Smog Cleared

The plus side of college.

     What happens when someone wakes up from a long coma? What happens when someone is finally released from years of captivity? That I am not sure. I have been awake this whole time. I was under the influence when it wasn't my choice. How are you supposed to feel about that?

     I find it challenging to not be angry at the public school system for playing doctor. The more I learn, the more I want to join in on a class action lawsuit against the Idaho school system. Sometimes I am angry with my parents for being a tool to the teachers. I was bitter for a long time and spoke ill of teachers.

     The best and worst event of my life was enrolling in University of Phoenix. The worst is for the next chapter. I learned quite a bit of myself going to college. I understood what was negatively impacting my life and that everything had to change.

     At the time of enrolling in college, I was in between jobs and dating a manipulative individual. My boyfriend at the time sponged off any woman in sight. He was a leech. He ruined my house in more ways anyone can imagine. I had holes in the yard and house, fence and caulking everywhere, and a large pile of dirt lining the fence in the backyard. To this day, I am still cleaning up his mess.

     I tried dumping him so many times. He always had some rebutall, "Who is going to take care of your yard?" and "Who is going to take care of your animals?" I found numerous letters I started to write after telling him to leave. He was hanging out with Sandy (the neighbor) and getting drugs from a manager at Taco Bell. He was blaming his drug problem on me. When I complained about him spending so much time with Sandy, he said, "Oh, she's in her 40's. There's no way anything is happening between us."

    One of my first courses was Critical Thinking. Everything changed from there. I began to think about what a terrible idea college was in this economy. I began to think about how toxic my boyfriend was. I tolerated it for a couple more months and I decided to tell him to go in July on my birthday. I made a video about his rhetorical devices before I kicked him out. I was waking up alone and he was giving me excuses.

     The day of my birthday was the final straw, I told him to leave. A month later, he married Sandy. I had a hard time trusting anyone because I thought he loved me. It makes me thankful because I never knew where I would be if he was still in my house.

     I began thinking more clearly and I was writing more. I was in a place where I was accepted. Nobody knew me or my history. I did not have to face the teacher or students. Distance learning was perfect for someone like me. Nobody could beat me, call me names, and I certainly was safe from any other forms of school.

     I could finally study without being under the influence of prescription drugs. Perhaps that was what my problem was. Medication and people picking on me created an obstacle. I passed every course with an A. This included both Algebra classes. It was as though I was never ready for a regular education until I was in my 30's.

     I felt as though I was denied knowledge. Not to mention, I did not know where a majority of my information came from when I was writing papers. Was my mind that clouded? I would state a fact and the instructor would tell me that I need references. I needed something to cite? I thought the information was common knowledge.

     My research method is old fashioned and I never realized it. I was used to grabbing an encyclopedia or magazine and writing notes on index cards. The Internet was at my fingertips. I did not believe anything online was reliable. Except for maybe PBS or the government websites. I believed that the sources at University of Phoenix was poor. I could not locate anything useful. I was always purchasing books to refer to.

     I realized that I am challenged with getting along with others. When I disovered what I had gotten into, I was yelling at people who were involved with the college ordeal.

     It made me wonder if I was going to be able to cope with the consequences of earning a degree. I pondered about other topics.

     I never really was disabled. This is a heart breaking discovery because I spent so long believing I had a learning disablility. I had a different learning skill. Teachers are unable to adjust to the various learning skills of students, so they want the students on medication. They want to teach to zombies. This really angered me. I was more angry with the Idaho education system than University of Phoenix.

     One of my last classes was a biology class. Mind you, I thought it was another Environmental Science course. We learned about various topics such as the environment and genetics. I began to wonder if I had some sort of genetic mutation. I asked my mother and she said I was fine. Was I tested before?

     My eyes were open to the world around me for once in my life. I was educated to diversity and my writing skills were stronger. I began to hear the truth about University of Phoenix and understand my personal experience with them.