Riding the Short Bus

The coveted label.

     Where to begin...it's quite hard to say. I was having trouble with school since I began to attend. I cannot remember how far back bullying goes. I vaguely remember some issues going to preschool.

   The first time I was isolated was when I was going to Butte View Elementary. If I knew then what I know now, I would have said no. The place I was isolated to was an area for children with disabilities. I would be kept there for what felt like months. I can hardly remember.

     The plan was that the teacher would send me to the trailer house that sat in the middle of the school property. The trailer had teachers who taught students with special needs. In the corner of the trailer was a cubicle with a door and tall walls. That was where I sat.

     It was strange and lonely. It made me more upset because I did not have any social outlet. I did not have a teacher with me. Learning material was sent to the room, but I did not have a teacher there to teach me anything about the material.

     I think this may be where I became familiar with distance learning. I had to learn everything on my own. I am really surprised that I learned anything at all. Sometimes someone would be there to help me with something if I could not figure anything out. I can honestly say that I do not remember being in class. When I was, people were picking on me.

     Going to Butte View was an odd world if I thought about it. The principle would listen in on conversations in the classroom when the teacher was gone. I would spout off comments that my parents made about the education system. They were crooked and Butte View proved that the education system was as crooked as it could get. When I was isolated, they continued to listen in and record what I was saying. Butte View Elementary is crooked and they would have been screwed if the red scare was still present. If I think about it today, Butte View Elementary was a communist system.

     Being isolated in the trailer ended finally when I was going to Emmett Middle School. I think it was a relatively short break from being the same room with disabled students. I think I would go to a classroom with students with special needs, I do not believe that I had much to do with them. When I felt overwhelmed, I was just go to the principle's office and call home to have someone pick me up.

     The last two years of going to Emmett Middle School, I was in a special education class. I think you could say it was my introduction to high school because I switched different classes. I never realized any reason behind me going to special education.

     I just used the class to study and listen to my teachers carry on with their ignorance. They were not as bad as other teachers, so I did not really notice. I kind of chilled in the class. 

     One teacher in particular would say random things. There were two teachers in the classroom and they spoke about their jobs. The one started talking about how you did not really need to have good grades in college to teach in school.   

      So, I began to attend Emmett High School. I was still enrolled in special education. AS much as a horrible person Mrs. Slagle was, she realized that I did not fit in. I had an opportunity to drop the class and I didn't. I should have.

     We both sat together alone in a room one day to discuss my future. She gave me a choice to either stay in special education or drop the class. What friends I had left were in this class. The only people who were speaking to me were in this class. All the answers to all of the tests were in this class. I chose to stay.

     So, I remained in special education with all the special needs children. Stupid decision, I know. I was labeled severely and mentally disturbed. To this day, I have no clue what it means. I never harmed anyone or anything. I never planned to harm anyone or anything. This is what makes me skeptical of most of the school shootings. People blame mental health. People blame guns. Would anyone stop to think about what else is happening that is causing shootings? I was in special education and I am a quiet person.

     When I moved to Boise, I was still in special education. Nobody went over an option to drop the class or question if I needed to be in it. Nobody asked me. They told me because they were discriminating me for being from a small town.