The Confession

A very short story about love, and all the feelings that can be expressed through the answering machine.

“It was the second that you said ‘I think I’m falling in love with you’ that I realized that I loved you, but I didn’t say that. I wanted you to be different, and I didn’t want to get hurt. I was afraid that those three little words were what caused jealousy, pain, and loss, I had said them before. Not too long later I let those words slip out and I found that you were different. You were so different that it was hard to believe. It seemed like everybody in the world was trying to tear me away from you, but you were all I wanted. I fell so hard for you that it was crazy and I waited for the day that I would crash and burn when you left me, but it didn’t come. Time and time again you proved me wrong but I still couldn’t put down my walls. Every day was a constant battle against myself, whether to give you everything or save myself from future pain.

            You gave me… everything. You told me anything I asked and you openly showed me that I had all of your love. Even then I wondered about other girls around you and hoped that the pain wasn’t coming soon. Years flew past and I still couldn’t let myself give you everything. The only thing that I hadn’t given you was my faith. My faith that if I gave you my heart you would not harm it, and that you would protect it from all others.

            I would say I love you at least twenty times a day, but I felt it every time I thought about something we did together. I felt it whenever something you said flew through my head, and I felt it whenever you made me proud. I felt it every second, but for some reason I could not show it the way that you did. I could not make you see what I felt. I was too afraid, I didn’t want to let you past that wall.

            Now that you’re gone I realize that you had already made it past that wall and I feel the pain that I feared for so many years. You got past my wall without me even realizing it. My heart was slowly stolen by your smiles, by your laugh, by the flowers on Valentine ’s Day. You stole my heart with the way you saw me, and I never even realized it. What I also didn’t realize was that you didn’t want a stolen heart, you wanted a gifted one. I was so afraid that I would lose you that I couldn’t show you how I felt. When you walked out that door you almost turned back but I am glad you didn’t. ‘I just can’t tell if you love me or not’ you said. The love is so obvious is my heart, in my soul, but if you didn’t feel it then it meant nothing. I was so guarded because I was afraid to get hurt, but by being guarded I caused my own pain. I look back and see how hurt you must have been giving all that love and not receiving any back. I see all the things I should have said and all the things I could have done.

            I know that it’s probably too late, I wish I could have stopped you at the door but I had to ask myself every reason why I love you, and I couldn’t ask for your forgiveness if I hadn’t changed what was wrong in the first place. I love you. I want you to have all of me in every way… but now you’re gone. I love you because you are smart, and funny. You are honest to me and care about me like nobody else does. You treat me like a queen, and made me happy when I was having the worst days. When my lips touched yours it was like a fire that didn’t burn, it soothed. My hand fits perfectly in yours and cuddling with you is what I think about every night alone. Looking into your eyes inspires me in every way and I don’t even know why. They give me guidance and fill me with desire and generosity and every other feeling. I could share all my ideas and feelings with you and you would just sit and listen, but I loved it when you talked. You’re dreams became my dreams and it hurts so badly now. If you made it this far then you still care and I’m sorry. I am sorry for everything that I did to you. I’m not looking for your pity at all; I just want you to know that you are loved. I just had to show it all to you.

            If you ever… think about me… think about picking up the phone and calling me… Please do it because I will be thinking about you for the rest of my life… I love you, know that means that my every cell loves you. Well… I guess I will go now, I’m sorry for such a long message...Goodbye…”

 

            “Jennie…” Silence “Jennie… you still there?” Silence “Guess not…”

            “Christian? You picked up…”

            “I was listening the whole time baby, I was about to call you and then… I didn’t want you to stop talking. Please never stop saying you love me…”

            “I love you…”

            “I love you too…”

Author's Note

Looking for feedback mostly on content. Could use a few pointers on grammer and sentence structure if you have any!

Reviews

[LOfCharlemagne]

This story is good, but i feel it lacks depth. Maybe add a reason why the other person did not feel a different way. The story feels like it is only being addressed from your point of view alone. While that is nothing bad, it can be enhanced by showing why the other person felt the way they felt/ did the things they did. Other then that, it is indeed a good story :)