A thought...

This particular piece of writing links back to when I first started putting my thoughts on to paper, during a particularly secretive dark chapter of my life. The build up to the loss of a loved one.

Suppressed thoughts are the walk forward

Are the two steps back

They hear of your pain but don’t blurt it out

I see you standing there judging me

But do you see the girl in me

I strive forward and don’t look back

Because tomorrow's pain can’t handle that

I dream to see a beautiful day

But cautiously in the present I wait

Days have gone

Time has stood strong

I wish to cry

Cry I shall not

The anger builds inside of me

As I wait patiently

For that one to save me

From me….

 

Author's Note

Do not hesitate to critique my writing but also enjoy and acknowledge the hidden stories left untold.

Reviews

[kitty blur]

So, this is the image that I got in mind while reading this poem: I see a woman standing in front of someone. This person may be a suitor or a stranger; it almost doesn't matter. The writer wants some happiness but hass been hurt in the past, making it difficult for her to trust others or even trust herself. It's a sad story, and it ends sad, too. It's tough to want to be saved from yourself, and even tougher to find someone willing to do that.

With that being said, I like how you didn't just come out and say something. There's a lot of ambiguity, but that works to your advantage as it lets the reader come up with their own narrative that is true to them.

As far as critiques go: there are a couple grammatical mistakes (putting an apostrophe in "tomorrows" or the words 'there stood' when the words 'stand there' make a little more sense). Besides that, though, nice poem. I think you expressed yourself well. :)

[iimiss.ingeniousii]

I sincerely appreciate your kind words and most importantly your criticism. The image you got was beyond perfection.