Dear sweet baby

Today I went to my girlfriend's baby shower. She was pregnant with twins, a boy and girl, when at 5 months she lost the little girl. The doctors don't know why. She never talks about it much, but I wanted to write something to the children.

Dear sweet baby, who rests in the quiet solace of heaven's embrace,

May you find peace in your eternal slumber.

Rest your rosy cheeks amongst the pillowy clouds in heaven,

Let your pure heart reach out to caress those who love you, yet have never seen your tiny face.

Hearts are broken and souls are incomplete in your absence.

You will forever remain in our memories as the angel that God called home, far too soon.

 

Dear sweet baby, who rests in the peaceful solace of your mother's womb,

May you grow ever strong and vigilant in the life that God has blessed you with.

Soon you will rest against your mother's warm bosom.

You will be sprinkled with kisses when your family first sees your tiny face.

Hearts will be filled with love and happiness in your presence.

May you forever remain an endearing part of our lives, an angel that God has graced us with.

 

Author's Note

This poem was written (and rewritten...and rewritten...) at 3 in the morning. It took quite some time to end it correctly, but thanks to the help of a very dear and patient friend, I think I can finally be done with edits. What do you think? What does it make you feel?

Reviews

[Clockwork]

For stanza one I would say its pretty good. Rosy and caress are spelled wrong however. Also I think that you may be able to find a better adjective than pillowy. If you could it would really strengthen your piece. The line about hearts being broken (Line five) doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the first stanza. Stanza one remembers her and that line takes the attention away from the primary focus.

For stanza two I would take the comma out of the first part of line one. Also I think that in line five you could insert an adjective such as enduring and replace endearing.

I like the contrast of life and death here, and the fact that both lives are still relevant. It is a nice tribute to those two little souls, as well as the mother who suffered the loss. I think with a little polishing it will send an even stronger message to them.

[Sseoni]

What a beautiful poem! I could really feel the emotion that you put into the poem! Very passionate, yet sad at the same time. The loss of a child is just heartbreaking... I could feel that coming off the pages from your poem. Fantastic poem! :D

[Silvario]

this is a purely beautiful piece. your creative and obviosly talented way with words brings this piece to life and draws emotion from reader. sadness and hope is what i felt.

well done indeed :)

[Melissa Rose]

Your vocabulary is OUTSTANDING! Just thought I'd throw that out there. And that's what I think :) I feel that this can provide consolation to anyone who has experienced the loss of an unborn infant, because it shows thought, understanding and love.