Dear sweet baby

Today I went to my girlfriend's baby shower. She was pregnant with twins, a boy and girl, when at 5 months she lost the little girl. The doctors don't know why. She never talks about it much, but I wanted to write something to the children.

Dear sweet baby, who rests in the quiet solace of heaven's embrace,

May you find peace in your eternal slumber.

Rest your rosy cheeks amongst the pillowy clouds in heaven,

Let your pure heart reach out to caress those who love you, yet have never seen your tiny face.

Hearts are broken and souls are incomplete in your absence.

You will forever remain in our memories as the angel that God called home, far too soon.

 

Dear sweet baby, who rests in the peaceful solace of your mother's womb,

May you grow ever strong and vigilant in the life that God has blessed you with.

Soon you will rest against your mother's warm bosom.

You will be sprinkled with kisses when your family first sees your tiny face.

Hearts will be filled with love and happiness in your presence.

May you forever remain an endearing part of our lives, an angel that God has graced us with.

 

Author's Note

This poem was written (and rewritten...and rewritten...) at 3 in the morning. It took quite some time to end it correctly, but thanks to the help of a very dear and patient friend, I think I can finally be done with edits. What do you think? What does it make you feel?

Reviews

[Clockwork]

For stanza one I would say its pretty good. Rosy and caress are spelled wrong however. Also I think that you may be able to find a better adjective than pillowy. If you could it would really strengthen your piece. The line about hearts being broken (Line five) doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the first stanza. Stanza one remembers her and that line takes the attention away from the primary focus.

For stanza two I would take the comma out of the first part of line one. Also I think that in line five you could insert an adjective such as enduring and replace endearing.

I like the contrast of life and death here, and the fact that both lives are still relevant. It is a nice tribute to those two little souls, as well as the mother who suffered the loss. I think with a little polishing it will send an even stronger message to them.

[An owl on the moon]

This is so profoundly beautiful, and filled with gripping emotion. Have known several couples who have lost their baby (through miscarriage or just after birth). What a heavy sadness. Your words are so full of comfort and love... May your prayer bless this family deeply.

[.Bunnie.]

To Vesa Lee:

I ALMOST sent her this poem...but then I freaked out and panicked a little. She's about to have the little boy any time soon now, and I don't want to bring up the bad memory of having lost a child. I think maybe one day, once things have settled down, maybe I'll gather up the courage to hand it over to her.....but until then...*sigh*...I shall remain a chicken s**t.

[Stacey Watts]

What a beautiful lovely piece. It was very nicely written and was very emotional. It was a nice tribute as well as a memorial. Excellent job.

[Vesa Lee]

Incredibly spoken...
I must confess, my eyes watered a little while reading.
Even though this is a personal prayer for each child of a friend, it could easily be used by all those expecting or mourning a child.
Beautiful and inspiring.
I hope maybe one day the mother might read this...if she has not already...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow now that was really touching... the first part was so sad but written with grace, and the second was really so blissful and sweet.

[Chellie]

This was beautiful. It made me feel both sad and thankfull at the same time. Sad because a loved one was lost, and thankfull because it makes you stop and realize what and who you have in your life.

[Cyndi Jannise]

That was very beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!your words are so caring and sincere.you really do have alot of talent you can really go far with this I am so proud of you.I'm not saying that because I'm your mom, I really meant it. That was really very beautiful I really enjoyd it.

[Nicole]

you have got a way with words!! I love this. I also love the way you used color for the boy and the girl. It made me kind of sad.

[Manie]

Wow! This is really beautiful. The way you did the comparison between the little girl and the boy, between death and life. I love the way the two verses can be compared, line for line. One for the little girl (now in heaven), and one for the boy. I assume the first verse speaks of the girl, because of the colour you used :-) This is a very sad poem, but also joyful. Two verses. Contrasts. Death and Life. Pain and joy. Sadness and happiness. Heaven and Earth. I also loved that you started with the sad part and moved towards a happy ending. This helps the reader to appreciate what was gained, instead of having them focus only on the loss. This poem was perfectly written. I give you 10/10.