The Story Teller

This is an entry response to the group "Itty-Bitty Wee-bit Society's" contest. The instructions are: "You're walking and you see this story teller leaning against a tree. Describe the person, the mood they create while telling their story, and what the s

     It was a cool fall day, kissed gently by the warm sun, when I first saw my story teller. His long, sinewy frame was sprawled openly against a tall oak; his stance portrayed a relaxation that drew in each of the small listeners gathered around him, sitting indian-style. A curious smile spread across my face as I paused to watch him, becoming engrossed in his animated story.

     His voice was like rich, warm velvet as it spread over my body, brushing lightly at my heart and causing a tiny stirring in the pit of my stomach. He paused, raising smoldering chocolate eyes to study me as I joined them. My breath hitched in my throat. A tiny tendril of his black, curly hair fell across his cheek, and my fingers twitched as I longed to brush it aside, to feel the silky softness that it portrayed.

     He continued with a smile, telling of some long-ago gypsy love that had stolen only his heart, and had disappeared amongst the shadows on a warm summer's night. A giggle burned in my throat as I studied the children around him. The girls' eyes were wide and dreamy; a pair of twin boys had their tiny, freckled noses wrinkled in disgust. "Did you kiss her?" one of the girls asked shyly, an adorable blush creeping across her plump cheeks.

     The story-teller threw back his head and let out a deep, throaty laugh that made my knees weaken slightly. "Yes, little menina.... I kissed her. She was far too lovely to resist!" Again, his eyes flicked towards me and held my gaze for several moments. I could only wonder what was going through his mind. Was he picturing his long lost love, or was he wondering what it would be like to kiss me? The way his eyes were focused on my mouth made me lean towards the latter.

     Eventually he made his way to his feet, and the children quickly scrambled up after him, spouting question after question. He smiled down at them, his hands spreading in the air as if to ask for mercy. "Merde, little ones!" he chuckled. "I must be leaving you now." He smiled at me and offered his arm. "I was wondering, fair menina, if perhaps you would not mind a companion for your walk?"

     I walked with him on that cool fall day, not knowing that I would still be linked arm-in-arm with him 30 years later, my heart still fluttering as much as it did that very first time. My story-teller is Eduardo Lavos. He is the gypsy that stole my heart, and the man that has guarded it ever since.

Author's Note

^.^ Feel free to critique it however you'd like. I know it's awfully short--it's not supposed to be much of a story, only a response to the contest in my group. (And if you're wondering, no...Eduardo Lavos doesn't exist, he is simply some gorgeous sexy character created in my mind!)

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

WOW that is truly a very captivating story indeed... you have quite a knack to draw the reader in, just like the story teller who has that magnetic charisma to get people attention I can see that in your writing. You allow the scene to play out so I can see and feel all that is going on.... I think a great moral of this story is you never know when love sill strike you. All around a great story.

[Nontani]

This, to me, feels like a very "classic" piece of writing. I'm not sure how to explain it. It may also have to do with me reading "Moulin Rouge" lately, but I see the storyteller as this renaissance man...told with a 1920's language..

Again, it might just be me, but I like it nontheless.

Very sweet, especially the ending.

Frozen Angel

[TheDarkScribe]

A nice little story. You did well with descriptions without going overboard. Sometimes you can tell when people are trying to hard to add descriptions, and it ends up sounding overdone and contrived. But this is good. I especially like the last line. Well done. :-)

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Good job. Hmm. How am I going to compete with this. It's good although abrupt at the end. Also I'd would have liked to have heard more about the story itself.

But your use of description is quite good, something I noticed also in our group story thread about the vampire. Keep writing,

- Ben

[Rena]

WOW. it was amazing. the descriptions really brought me into the story, letting me imagine the character. short is not always bad. wonderful

[Chellie]

Such a good peice. I would love to see this longer. I think you have talent and I would love to read some more of your work.

[Psynexus]

Very nice, very descriptive in a creative way. I'd be interested to see what you could do with it if you were to write a little more (not for the contest but as far as other romance-type writing as is your said goal :)).

[Surrealstorm]

Very sweet. Its almost like something out of a dream...Great Write!

[StoryTailor]

Beautiful. I love it.
It fills me with emotion. IT's ... incredible.