Something's Missing

I'm not really much of a poet, but I had a few lines stuck in my head so I figured I'd turn them into something. :) This poem is mostly about a dark time in my past, that I've for the most part come to terms with.

Something's missing, deep within

Cold, hollow, searching for an end.

Day turns to night, she's still aching

Longing for that bitter-sweet, blissful abyss.

 

With no more light, she feels empty

Craving refuge, sanctum, a quiet asylum....

For just one night, she wants incentive to breathe

To feel, to hope, to dream, in spite of

The dark in his eyes.

Author's Note

The main thing I would love to know from you is what this poem makes you picture. Who do you think I'm speaking of? Who would be YOUR person with dark eyes? :)

Reviews

[Melissa Rose]

I'm picturing a young person in a vulnerable and sickening position, being used and taken advantage of by a person with unfounded control. My person with dark eyes remains un-named for multiple reasons, but nontheless, he had a considerable impact on my life.
You have done a great job capturing emotion in this lovely short poem!
Welcome to Writers Cafe :)

[Sarah J. Kelleher]

Firstly, the title itself made me think of Evanescence's song, "Missing". It tells a story along the same lines, that the person with "dark eyes" won't miss her as she liberates herself. I've also figured something out recently, though it's not much... Just, it's easy to feel worthless. And to withdraw yourself. What's difficult is finding the will to look for your place in this world... But even if we want to, we subconsciously decide to live life inside ourselves because it's more comfortable to us and we know it better, like a baby blanket or a favorite teddy bear. I can definitely sympathize the feelings... And I'm glad that you were able to come to terms with that part of your past. :) Sometimes the shortest poems say the most. Quite a powerful piece overall, and thank you for sharing it. :)

[.nicole.]

The dark eyes remind me of a guy i almost dated. he lead me on over the summer but when school started up again he wanted nothing to do with me. he broke my heart. and now he treats me horribly because of it. i loved this poem though. i totally understand

[Cyndi Jannise]

Honey this is beautiful im so proud of you good job!

[An owl on the moon]

I had a pretty dark past, years of depression, and this connected to that part of me very clearly... that aching hollow place that seems to swallow you. Loved the vivid depth of this one. Excellent!

[cest la vie]

Ah, the elisive dark eyes.. I think we all have a set of those in our lives. You say you don't write much poetry? Well, this is very well written.. PLease, keep the ink a flowing...

[M. Amphet Salt]

I see a girl that was once in love, but is no longer happy because her lover, whom she loves, is being different towards her. She is looking for an outlet, just one night of enjoyment, perhaps in the arms of another, maybe to get away. What does it mean to you?

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You seem like quite a poet to me... an excellent job at capturing that misery loves company feeling... like being with someone for the wrong reason the alone for the right one... very creative emotionally and flowed well.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

the person who can not be read.. who sends you into confusion.. you sort of can't believe it..thinking maybe , just maybe there is something there..

[Michael X]

I like it, I think you've captured the emotion with a subtleness that flows straight to the readers heart
and imparts a sense of heartbreak and moving on, the form and wording stikes me
with skill crafting effect, a pleasure to read I look forward to seeing more from you

[Clockwork]

Not bad really. I think you are speaking of a person who is addicted to substance. The speaker of the piece wishes to escape reality, but has an anchor in it through the one she seeks. This anchor may tie her to something unsavory, wholly dark, and malicious but she takes solace in that darkness. That is what I see.