Jesus Christ

I'm not a particularly religious person, but still I'm fond of my relationship with God and the Bible. I have a friend that inspires me to keep praying. This popped into my head a while back.

Jesus Christ sounds really nice

I wonder if he’d save me

Sure I’ve sinned a lot

But I am not 

The person I used to be

I’ve done plenty wrong

But I just thought 

It was time for something new

So Jesus Christ

I guess that’s what brought me here

To try to talk to you

Jesus Christ what’s heaven like

I once tried to catch an early ride

I was swallowing lots of pills 

When I should have

Swallowed up my pride

Can you forgive me?

My friend said 

I should bow my head and pray

But Jesus Christ

I was so scared 

I didn’t know what I would say

Jesus Christ I’ve been reading

Tell me what does it all mean

Is it true

What says it there in

First Corinthians 10:13

Sometimes it seems as though

I’ve taken on 

more than I can bare

So Jesus Christ

What is the way out?

Does God actually care?

Jesus Christ sounds super nice

I wonder if he’d save me

I've been searching 

I've been praying

For something to believe

If faith's a gift

I guess it's one

I have yet to receive

Jesus Christ I think I love you

And thank you

For loving me

Reviews

[angel]

Just beautiful.Sometimes, I just fall speechless.

[H L Rose]

This is beautiful. I may be biased as a Christian, but the repetition in each first line of each stanza is perfect to me along with the repetition of the poem's second line in the last stanza.

I love the simplicity in the first stanza specifically. Though I think the simplistic language throughout the entire poem is perfect. It suggests an honesty that I think is often difficult to put on paper. The change in the first stanza from asking a question to seemingly anyone and then ending the stanza by addressing Jesus in prayer, is a unique way to pull the reader in. The reader I think feels more involved this way.

I think stanza 2 is worded well and the sentiments of each line flow well into the next. I may suggest(and yes this is purely suggestion. I may have no idea what I'm talking about) in lines 2 and 3 you could perhaps include some cool musicality by changing up the wording a bit. If line 2 started with “once I” and line 3 with “I swallowed”, the lines may flow better. Also, in the last line, I think you may just be able to say “what to say” in order to get rid of some extra words and help the line flow better.
Despite those suggestions, this is my favorite stanza in the poem!

I like how in stanza 3 you don't add in more information than necessary for the reader to understand. You simply say “I've been reading” and the reader gets it. I think maybe line 4 is worded a bit strangely. But I know the way it's worded helps with the flow of the words so perhaps it's perfect. I'm no expert.
The second to last line in this stanza seems to break from the flow a bit, but it may be that, that is intentional because you want the line to stand out, so if that's the case perhaps that is good too.
That 1 Corinthians verse is confusing to me too. I think there is a bunch of theological stuff behind it that I don't get yet.

The last stanza is so beautiful. It questions and touches on a deep concept about faith and yet brings full circle a faith that the speaker is still loved which I feel shows a tension that exists for everyone. There is a passage in Mark 9 that shows this same tension. Verse 24 has a line where a person says to Jesus “I believe, help my unbelief”. This just came to mind reading this stanza because I feel like you've evoked the same feelings so well.

I've really enjoyed reading this! Thanks so much for sharing!

[Moomin]

Thia is lovely, honest and humble.

Your words reflect the genuine confusion of many people trying to come to terms with life's harshness today.

I was intrigued by your question about 1 Corinthians, it is a scripture I hold close to my heart too. There has been much confusion about this and, it is due to mainsrtream churches misunderstanding the Bible's message. Notice that Jesus always directed praise and prayer to his Father in Heaven. In the model prayer, Jesus urges us to pray to his Father "Hallowed be THY name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth." Those two statements arr the key to receiving God's help and "Power beyond what is normal." Ask yourself - What is the name of Jesus' Father? and - What is the kingdom? Then you will understand.

I am happy to help, if you want.

Good work.

By the way, just ignore the atheist preacher, he's full of hate - "Do not cast your pearls before swine."

I wish you peace.

Moomin

[EriTalks]

💕💕💕💕🙌yes!! ✝️this is beautiful!!

[Dan]

Loved this! I think it shows very clearly how powerful the truth of the Gospel can be.

[Davidgeo]

Well written.

But Jesus doesn't really forgive... even attempted suicide is a carnal sin.

You're fucked.

But only if you're silly enough to believe in stupid coercive ghost stories.

[A. Wrin]

Agree to disagree.

[Davidgeo]

About what? If you've read the bible it's quite clear.
Corinthians 3:16
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

You should really read the actual source material if you're going to "disagree" with it.

I don't even believe in that crap... but if you're going to talk about anything one must be well versed in it whether in agreement or not.

[A. Wrin]

I'm really not going to argue theology with a stranger on the Internet and I don't know why an atheist would get so passionate, either. I've spent my fair share of time in Bible study. Any Christian knows it's open to a lot of interpretation. Chill out dude it's not that serious. I wasn't the speaker in the poem. It's art. Have a nice night.

[Davidgeo]

It's an objective statement based on a universally available text... I'd buy your comment if you didn't kick things off with "agree to disagree" but that's how you chose to explain yourself. It doesn't matter if your the speaker or not, it's a conversation regarding epistemology and how you wrote your poem. It's not my fault you wrote a poem that contradicts the document your beliefs are founded on. But good job being intellectually lazy and coping out with the "open to interpretation" method... (that's how genocide is justified). Well done... God is so proud of your ignorance he just might not exist.

[emipoemi]

What I love most about this poem is that the musicality has such a fun flow that it draws the readers in for an entertaining ride. I'm neither particularly religious (I'm secular but no atheist), but I was so charmed by this poem that I felt like I believed even more. The only comment I would make is that the line should read: "Is it true/What IT SAYS there in...." (right now you have it reading "says it" which sounds a bit awkward). Other than that, this sounds quite like a fun children's poem - it really read like one, and it was overall very enjoyable. Well done!

[sette]

talking with Him will enlighten a person. have faith and keep the faith