I Am From

I run from where I come from

I am from pregnant Madness who loused up at her navy base

And I am from Denial who fell in love with Madness and dealt chemicals like cards at a poker game

But from Denial and Madness comes Hope

And false hope was the binding that tied their fingers together

For they were children, too


I am from large lengths of tangled hair and little bruised knees

A little Hope that dug her fingers into the garden dirt in search for worms

Denial and Madness forgot their little Hope, who pulled the heads from muertes flowers

And I am from the bedtime stories little Hope read to herself at night

Before she buried herself in her pillow

Hoping that when she didn't wake

The screaming would stop


We are born from what we are torn from

I am from half-weeks with Denial and with Madness

And quiet Hope and broken boards and a wire-rimmed world

He drank and she sank, split between two homes

I am from the Smith in fifth grade

Who taught Hope to cope

And I grew from what I knew

And though I wrote

I withdrew


I am from chickens lunging at my ankles

But I am also from third-floor apartments

And where I came from changed from day to day

Hope had long died with each tear she cried

Denial beat her in order to teach her

And Madness didn't feed her or hear her

Until Hope traded in her pillow for a rope

I am from my first failure

And my first suicide note


I flew from what I grew from

Hope was gruesome, growing taller and thinner from throwing up dinner

I am from chopped locks and stolen pills in a box in my locker

And I denied the evidence as my madness took prevalence

Until I woke up on a Thursday in a hospital bed

Blanketed in old scars and burns where I previously had bled from

I am from the two day sleep that woke me up

And Hope lay dead all over me

I am from that year and a half, out of school and out of control

And the constant hospitalizations and sanitations

Took their toll


I am Hope

I am from Hope

All is Hope

And Hope is home

I am with Madness who grows sicker

And I am the pills I'm on to make me thicker

And I am from my music

And the way I have learned to use it

To give Hope back to the world

That gave life back to this girl