Unguarded Vision

I would not call this a story, rather it's a piece I wrote for my blog. I blog about different topics. I a still developing my site, but please feel free to take a look.

This afternoon I had an epiphany.  It kind of snuck up on me in the middle of a mundane Sunday afternoon while doing pretty much nothing. I was actually in the middle of doing what most natural sisters do when we look in the mirror and notice our twist-out is looking better and better as the day goes on. So after I finished my five selfies I had a pretty introspective moment.  I was thinking about what I want my writing career to look like. I considered the content and the impact I want to make. I weighed the pros and cons of self-publishing versus seeking a traditional book deal. As my thoughts raced an almost stifling emotion penetrated. I felt a wave of self-doubt attempting to co-mingle with my vision. I paused and almost instinctively grabbed the phone to call my cousin. In that moment I needed her to remind me that my vision is not a fantasy. I needed to borrow some of her unwavering faith that she has in me. Despite the temptation to receive what I knew would be reassuring feedback, I opted instead for some good old self talk. It worked. I was elated. The elation was not directly attributed to the fact that I guarded my vision by silencing the  voice of self-doubt, it was also stemming from the idea of having people in my life that can see my vulnerabilities and talent without one diminishing the other. Ensuring that your vision manifest requires careful guarding; guarding from internal disruptions and guarding from external interruptions .            

     I’m one of those people that dream in color. My life goals are pretty grand and often foster feelings of excitement and fear. It can be frightening to attempt to accomplish things that are well out of your comfort zone. After my cute twist-out induced photoshoot I embraced two things about myself today. One, I may have moments where my vision is laced with self-doubt. While I can’t say with certainty that this is common for most people, I do know that your self-doubt cannot marry your vision. They simply cannot peacefully co-exists and live happily ever after. It’s a destructive union. Knowing this, I actively combat it with the use of prayer and words of affirmation. On my strong days that is more than enough. Other days I need something different. I need to hear a simple, but profound “girl you got this” from someone in my immediate circle. That’s when the depth of my second realization hit me. In order for a vision to grow and flourish it must be guarded. It has to be guarded from self-doubt and fear of the unknown. Some days it’s pretty simple to do. Other days that help comes from those closest to you. I recognize that I am blessed to have an inner circle to draw strength and courage from when my supply is running low. This is critical to my development. So naturally the bar is set pretty high for those who I allow close to me. After all, the role they play is  vital. So today I acknowledged my own vulnerabilities while maintaining consistent in my vision.  At times the comfort of the familiar seems inviting but I refuse to oblige. I refuse to live a life that answers Langston Hughes’s questions about dreams deferred. So today, and every other mundane Sunday I will guard my vision.

   

Author's Note

It is not a story....The slots above gave me limited options in regards to a label. Its actually a piece I wrote about an "aha" moment I had. A short essay if you will

Reviews

[William Richards]

Good work.

I think it is close to being a story. You've got a character who is a first person narrator giving us a stream of consciousness - of her thoughts. She has conflict - I.e. self publish or find an editor- and there is character progression I.e. the realization that dreams need to be guarded - those incipient thoughts and ideas needing love amd protection whilst they develop into mature ideas.

I wasn't sure what 'twist-out' means tho.

[miss_shanita]

Thank you. Its not really a "story" I just wasn't sure how to label it. Its more just an essay on an "aha moment " I had. Oh .....and a twist out is a hair style lol