Fireworks

-a little childs account of war

It was clasped onto my face like a life saving vice.

It choked me but allowed me to breathe.

The streets are empty but full of chaos and fear;

will it happen tonight or will we live one more day?

I use to wish for excitement and fireworks; but now I

wish it would disappears and leave. 

The fireworks are beautiful disasters. A violent ballet of

colour and destruction. They destroyed my home and school.

When the night is dark, the fire creates orange smoke. 

People run. So many leave; just a suit with a suitcase.

Will they even remember I was here?

I was the boy who played with wooden aeroplanes

and was always late for supper.

Mother use to get angry. Not anymore.

Mother cried when I got on the train with the other kids.

She told me to be polite and stay safe;

she told me to brush my teeth everyday.

But she never got on the train with me, 

she waved when it left the platform. 

So much dust and rubble in the city when i returned.

I would show you where the bakery was and where

Alannah Fisher lived; but theres no point.

Its just a pile of rocks and memories.

I can still hear the sirens; their scream makes me scared.

Who won't return this time? Will Mother be ok?

I have to tel her I'm ok. 

I have to tell her the mask she gave kept me safe.

I have to tell her the socks she knitted kept me warm.

I have to tell her I will be on time for supper. 

Author's Note

First Draft
ANY help/suggestions/criticisms would be welcome

Reviews

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully written. great perspective.

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Lovely writing... I like whole poem.... Keep it up.... God bless u..

[Jasmine Thousand]

WOW! It's a really good poem! However, for constructive critisism, I thought you could make the poem a bit clearer, unless you did that on purpose, of course! Other than that, just capitalize your i's! And I was wondering-who's Alannah Fisher? It was an amazing poem, I'm looking forward to some others! Keep on writing!
~Jasmine Thousand~

[Wolfwind Words]

This was an amazing work of emotion and reality, woven smoothly, creating the a feeling that catches in the heart. The last stanza truly captures the thoughts of the young boy. It shows us the glimpses of his innocence as well as the tough truths that living through such tragedy brings.

Epic Poem!
Wolfie

[...]

This is quite the amazing write, I enjoyed this write.

[Iyasumi]

One minor spelling mistake in the end, but otherwise I just think the whole thing is really well done and captivating reading!
It's hard to tell in the beginning what's happening if you don't read the comment, but that might be ok since it sparks interest, and it is a poem.
I just think it's very well done, and it gives that scared feeling and makes you think "What's the point with war?". I really love pieces which make you think. :)

[SwagMaster]

This is a beautiful poem. It really captures the feelings that children have when they're scared or afraid. I loved it!