Falling is such a deadly sin

Falling is such a deadly sin

By Ivonne L.

 

This night is so lonely and quite. Anything can happened in this quite lonely night in a lonely street.Where i hear and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin. Oh how I Imagine that rush of floating in the air .If I attempt to float I would fall.

 

Oh it could be such a tragic lonely night to fall from this balcony. wish I could float in the air and fly away.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin.Oh how  Imagine that rush of floating in the air.If I attempt to float I would fall.

 

Yet who cares If I fall for I just want to fly. I truly don't want to die I just want to be free and fly away In this quite night where anything goes.

 

Falling would be such a deadly sin, yet I truly wanna float in the air and feel so free.

 

As the stars look down  on me waiting for my next move,cause anything goes in this tragic lonely night. Falling would be such a deadly sin.I truly wanna float in the air and feel so free.

Reviews

[Taylor H]

Fix your spacing after ever comma and period in these lines (and capitalize your i's)---

lonely street.where i hear,and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

air,and fly away,

Falling would be such a deadly sin yet .oh how Imagine that rush of floating in the air.If I

free,and fly away In this quite night where anything goes.
Falling would be such a deadly sin .Yet I truly wanna float in the air,and feel so free.
As the stars look down on me waiting for my next move,cause anything goes in this tragic

Falling would be such a deadly sin .Yet I truly wanna float in the air,and feel so free.

[Taylor H]

I liked it. But I didnt like that falling and lonely were used in this poem for almost everyline. (I really hope you dont think Im just being a mean b***h) Im just honest about my opinion....please dont hate me lol

[deeps]

I think this is so wonderful
Amazing imagery you have put into this.
I really like this.

[Sean M. Addams]

I really like the imagery and flow of this piece....it has a dark dream like feel to it... overall nice job on this and thanks for entering it in my contest.... fav lines...This night is so lonely ,and quite anything can happened in this quite lonely night in a lonely street.where i hear,and see everything from up here in these lonely stairs.

[laceyjane23]

Great job on this piece! I really enjoyed reading iut.
Laceyjane

[poet2angels (lynda)]

Such heart in every line!
Ty for entering!

Lynda

[Somebody you've already..]

hey just read it and wow is it good. you got some talent and I like the meaning behind. Great job.

[Rebecca Rogers]

Is this supposed to be a song? It seems like it was written as one.

The thoughts of flying and falling are good.

Nice work! :)