Losing Love street

Losing Love street

By Ivonne Lizarraga

This was way to much trouble I caused for a whole family.I just can't fix this all it once like i use to before.There's just way to much  going on.

There's no more love anymore . Like I thought this was once a love street,not any more.It's more like a war zone in front of my window.

There was a time when it was much peaceful a time when neighbors were Friends.A time when everyone just did there own thing,and did it with love .

My street was a true love street.A street were allot of people would gather around from different parts of town  to share a joint,cigarette,beer,or simply a plate of food.We'd be in our circles trading money for joy.There would always be a helping hand in love street.

People would lose themselves in love street .In order to just find love ,and they did find it but they lost it for now.

so many conflicts for the drugs,and girls of happiness oh the joy they would bring to a love street.

This was a true love street always has been now love street is gone cause of so many fights that our fought in what was once called love street

We're losing a love street for who knows how long maybe forever.Now there's just war in this street no more love. It's gone for now.

Reviews

[Taylor H]

Fix your spacing after ever comma and period in these lines---

This was way to much trouble I caused for a whole family.I just can't fix this all it once like i use to before.There's just way to much going on.


street,not any more.It's more like a war zone in front of my window.


Friends.A time when everyone just did there own thing,and did it with love .
My street was a true love street.A street were allot of people would gather around from different parts of town to share a joint,cigarette,beer,or simply a plate of food.We'd be in our circles trading money for joy.There would

so many conflicts for the drugs,and girls of happiness oh the joy they would

We're losing a love street for who knows how long maybe forever.Now

[Gordon Purkis]

It has many fine elements but the English is trying. With some patient editing it could be a fine poem. I love a couple of lines in it, especially "We'd be in our circles trading money for joy."

[Tovli]

a great prose poem--enjoyed. tovli

[Helena]

This is a sad poem. Life is ever changing and not always for the best.
Sometimes we have to let go and try and make good changes for
the future. Good write and thank you for entering this into my
contest! ~ Helena :)

[C.L. Wilson]

I agree. read this again and you'll have a perfect poem. I liked the message and the story of the poem so much I'll give a hundred anyway. Grammar isn't a big deal for me as long as I get the message.

[After the Blackbird Sin..]

Yeah, kinda reads badly translated. Then again, some of those bad translations are kinda...poetic. There's a really good base here; it just needs polishing.

[Constance]

Your ideas here are good, but there are many errors in spelling and grammar. I recommend typing this into word first, fixing the errors, and then posting. It would be a lovely piece if the grammar and spelling were remedied.