The human's solar system

“The moon rolls over the roof and falls behind

my house, and the moon does neither of these things,

I’m talking about myself.”

-Allen Curnow

-

He often wondered whether his brain was himself, or a part of himself, or inside himself, or perhaps someone else, or something else. It seemed to him that every cell in his body was part of another person, or connected to another person, and he was just there, just floating inside it, trying to find where that connection is.

When he buries himself under his blanket and tries to diffuse through the pillow to enter this other world where his body is not there - he feels more himself, or just a little happier than before. Though tonight, he couldn’t reach that place, couldn’t absorb it, or separate himself from his brain, or that brain. It (his body) was not a machine you can turn off with a button, not a cage you can break and run away from, but it was just there, it just remained glued to him and only detaches itself when it wants to, or perhaps gets ordered to. And even his thoughts were divided, some he was able to create and control and the others just came out of nothing, or from another person that he, apart from his body, cannot connect to.

It made no sense, but he couldn’t make sense out of everything. He walked outside to see whether he could reach that person, perhaps find it within the heart of the wind, or something. The moon was the only thing that seemed awake, the only thing that still existed in the same reality as him. He looked at it, and then wondered why he was the only creature that couldn’t connect to that same thing, that same beginning, like how all the stars in the universe are connected. Somehow the moon was able to speak and communicate with his body or this other self in a language that he couldn’t understand. And when he looks at the moon without his body, without his brain, he sees it as nothing but a white, glowing circle floating in a dark sky. Though his body that is connected to that other self sees it as something that resembles him, something that contains the same ‘something’ inside him, and inside the whole universe. Perhaps his other self and him should not be connected, perhaps it is better to see the world through different selves, one that is connected to it, and the other is not. But when will he reach that other self, and feel connected to it like all the other creatures, is something he will never know.

He walked back to his house with a body that is separate from him but a heart that still belonged to him, and with every step he questioned on which one is his true self. As his head touched the surface of the pillow once again, a tear or two began to fall down, and then he sighed.

He remembered his science teacher claim ‘Humans were made to study the universe’. Though as an artist, it was more than that, it was not to study the universe, but to connect to it, to bind to it, to feel it and feel that ‘something’ that everything around him is connected to, everything, apart from his human self. And as his brain began to collect his thoughts that he had created, it sensed the order of this ‘something’ that is not him, and then isolated itself from the artist’s body.

Reviews

[TheSearcher]

I can think of ways that can contradict it. But it did made me think to myself first of what ifs before doubt. I like the concept and perspective.

[Ayushi]

Very well written..You have the ability to think and analyze deeply :)

[Mirna]

thank you so much:)xx

[Utkarsh Singh]

quite an interesting story ....good one

[Mirna]

thank you:)xx

[Bluefire]

I like the story, the thoughts that were well written out, and the difference between the writer and the science teacher. I also like that way you described sleep, without actually saying the word sleep, and the way you described the moon and the stars.
Well done. ^^

[Mirna]

thank you:) i appreciate it x

[Bluefire]

You're welcome. ^^

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

This was a good piece with a lot of variation in word choice. Interesting topic too

[Mirna]

thank you:)xx

[Pi]

There were only a few mistakes, but I really liked it :)

[Mirna]

thank you:) xxx

[Lyn Anderson]

I really liked this piece, although I did detect some minor tense switches you might want to go through and check for that.

[Mirna]

thank you:) and thanks for reminding me haha, I never liked to go over it in detail after its finished. it's already a tiring process while writing it. but thank you once again :)xx

[C. Rose]

I agree with New Theory and won't try to copy their well put praise.

Some technicalities to consider.
You said 'though' four times - which is a lot for a shorter piece like this.
A WritersCafe glitch is that when you copy paste publish, hyphens turn into quotation marks. Really weird glitch, but easily fixed.
"He looked it" - "He looked (at) it"

[Mirna]

ahh thank you for this! I usually post it on another website first and then paste it here, so I never look over it. but thank you :) xxx

[New Theory]

Quiet philosophical piece, your mind works into so much deepness. Its absolutely mystifying. The universe, the self and the connection if there is one, the dilemma, the alien ness in the one ness all of it is so much perplexing, you are going to be great, ponder on these question and come up with your own answers, dont settle for what others say, although listen to them too but make your own answers. Astoundingly good.

[Mirna]

thank you so much! I usually like to ask the questions, but as I get older i'll hopefully get the answers haha :P
thank you though:)xxx

[New Theory]

Its good to have questions when you are young