A broken dream

I just thought of a dream that was unreached

At the corner of these hollow ideas

where you once sung

now lays a cemetery

filled with decayed melodies

 

Was I not good enough

to ride your wings

and fly away?

 

Was laziness

intelligent enough to steal you

in my crafted hands?

 

You were robbed

in daylight

and tossed to swim on air

 

Yesterday,

you were a candle

that was once ready

to light my tomorrow

Today,

you are a dark

that closes my doors

and covers my sight

Reviews

[Geraldine]

So beautifully written. ^^ Love the last stanza. :)

[Suditi]

Simple, yet intense.
You have brought out the ever so powerful nature of dreams in a wonderful manner.
Great job.

[Kuhr Gred]

"Not all dreams reached.. but if you pursue for good you will reach it.." anyway! this beautiful.. i feel you're talkin at me while i read your poem :)
thanks for sharing :)
- Kuhr Gred

[MandaBear]

Wow, this is really beautiful.

[ba_mcfarlane]

There is the searing pain of loss presented here, in a cunning underwrite, that intensifies the theme. It is harder to write simply and yet aptly, than to reach for flowery and overblown prose.... a great and disciplined write.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, this is really beautiful. I loved every line. :)



Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Cathy Wattam]

Great imagery here which I really like.

A few pointers (if you don't mind me saying?):-

"At the corner of this hollow ideas" - would read better to say "At the corner of these hollow ideas".

"Was I not good enough?
to ride your wings and fly away" - should have the question mark at the end of fly away.

"Was laziness
intelligent enough to steal you
in my crafted hands" - this needs a question mark.

"Yesterday,
you were a candle
that was once ready
to lit my tomorrow" - should say "light my tomorrow".

Otherwise a nice poem. Keep writing!

[kingblaq]

"At the corner of this hollow ideas

where you once sung

now lays a cemetery

filled with decayed melodies"
What a way to start a sad poem!
Awesome imagery
Great write

[Marie]

Very pretty, very sad. Broken dreams haunt us.

[Sleeping Maiden]

Awww this is sad but i like it. Dreams can really push or pull at you..
I love the imagery here! I could picture it in my mind. I love the meaning of this poem! Great job!