The River Walker

historical fiction romance short story, one of my first attempts

I may not look like much from afar, a mass of salt and peppered hair, brown cap, and tan trench coat lightly slapping my knees as I walk along the Riverside. My last cigarette burning down in my hand leaving the smell of smoke and cloves. My pace slow, like I’m just learning to walk, but my strides deliberate, with a purpose. A gentle breeze blows down through the sparse trees, creating a soft rustling, my foot places itself on the damp grass causing a twig to snap underneath with a satisfying crack. A young couple sits on a bench nearby, both dressed in patterned scarfs and glasses far to big for their faces. I notice the glimmer of the simple silver band on the woman’s finger. She looks at me and smiles, I slowly raise my hand in a wave, then tipping my hat and continuing my stroll. I come to the tree I carved my name in as a young boy, I see myself hanging from the tree like an ape, smiling aimlessly, without a care in the world. I remember the day I carved my name into the worn bark of this tree. I was 8, wearing my red and white striped polo, a mess of shaggy brown hair falling into my eyes and my little hands moving up to brush it away. It was 1929, October the 29th, exactly 1 month until my 9th birthday, mother said I could buy a whole pound of sweets for my party with my friends from school, there’d be a cake and everything! I ran home after carving my name in that tree and knocked on my door because I left my key at home again. My 6 year old sister Annie opened the door, “you must’ve done something real bad this time, mommy is crying up a storm in there”. I brushed passed her confused, I hadn’t done anything, but there was mom, clutching some papers in her hands and crying like a crazy lady. I walked up to her slowly and shook her shoulder. ” mom? Mom what’s the matter?” “We’ve lost it! We’ve lost everything!” I didn’t know what she meant, but I learned over the next few weeks. There was no party on my birthday, just a hug and an orange. Not a fresh orange, but the first one I’d had in a month. I wrapped half up to save for later, but it got moldy. We got kicked out of our apartment a few weeks later, the man said mom hadn’t paid for a month. We tried to stay with some of mom’s friends but they were all getting kicked out too. We ended up sleeping down by the river using our clothes as pillows and blankets. I had to stop going to school so I could take care of Annie while mom went to work. I was always dirty no matter how long I sat in the river. When I turned 15 I went out to find a job and brought Annie along with me, a newspaper gave me and Annie a job selling papers on a street for a penny for each of us a week. I kept that job for the next three years and on my 18th birthday the man running the paper offered me a job writing small articles. I wouldn’t get paid as much as other journalists but it was still a job. Mom and Annie had saved up enough to rent out a small room just big enough for the two of them, so I was sleeping at the paper. On the night of my 20th birthday in 1940 I had enough saved up that I went out with some of my coworkers. We sat down at a diner and our waitress walked up to take our order. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, bright green eyes and deep brown hair tied back in a bun. I stayed at the diner that night drinking coffee after coffee talking with her long after everyone else had left. I came back night after night until I worked up the nerve to ask her out. She said yes and I was the happiest man alive, my heart was singing. 3 years later I was walking with her down by the river, where we spent most of our time, when I got down on one knee and proposed to her. The ring wasn’t much, a small gold band, but she loved it and said yes. A week later I received a letter saying I had been drafted into the war and that I was leaving on Tuesday. I said goodbye to my love and hello to my helmet and fatigues. The day we invaded Normandy I couldn’t kill anyone, I never could, it went against my nature. Instead I snuck through houses taking those trapped inside to safety. The one most prominent in my mind is a house that had been lit on fire, 2 small children were stuck inside crying with their dog so I went in and got the children out but they refused to go until I got the dog, so I busted through the door and grabbed the dog, who bit my hand, and rushed outside, the fire burning part of my eyebrows off. They shipped me home to my fiancé and we were married down by the river the day after I got home. Annie was the maid of honor and the best man well woman. When I saw my love walking towards me in her white dress I couldn’t help but cry, she was so beautiful. She stumbled then, got mud all over her dress and I laughed. She gave me the look of death then smiled and laughed with me. We bought our house over looking the river and had a baby girl, we named her Merideth Elise. When Merideth was about 10 her mom got sick, the doctors couldn’t tell us exactly what was wrong, something with her heart. Merideth liked to tell people it was because her mommy’s heart was so big it burst, they always chuckled sadly at this. She was kept in the hospital and wasn’t allowed to leave ever, but one day she asked to take a walk with me down by the river and they let her go. We were walking when she fell, I cradled her in my arms and whispered how much I loved her over and over again. They found us there hours later, me rocking back and forth crying over her body. They told me they knew it was her dying wish to walk with me, even though it would kill her. Her family wanted her body buried with them in Iowa so I built a small memorial at the spot we got married in for her. Everyday for 8 years I went down there, Merideth was moved out and already starting a family of her own. The years passed and I still went down to visit her grave, less often as I aged more and lost my walking abilities. On the day of my 80th birthday I went down to see her grave, I bought her flowers, pink daisies, her favorite. That’s when I  saw this tree, the tree with my named carved into it. I shuffled away from the tree and down to the head stone I made for her by the river. I kneeled down in the muddy grass and placed the flowers on top. I sank my nails into the moist earth as tears rolled down my face, then I felt a tap on my shoulder and there she was in her waitress uniform just like the day we met. She held out her hand and asked me to take a walk with her. And I did, I walked, we walked and we just kept walking down the river.

Author's Note

please give constructive crtisim

Reviews

[AE]

A moment of silence for this lovely couple.

Very well done! I enjoyed this story and the title is perfect. I like how the river holds so much significance. It's like the one thing that stayed constant in his life and sort of held all the events that happened together.

However, there are few things that I think would make this even better. Add paragraphs. That way, the reader is less likely to get lost. Also, the beginning sentence sort of left me hanging with an incomplete feeling because it says, "I may not look like much from afar," and it just keeps going and never concludes. I'm just thinking the entire time, "But what? Is there something else you wanted to tell me?" He never does say. Maybe you should expand the middle of the story a bit though because meeting the love of his life is the game changer. His whole life changed pace after he met her, so the story should too. Overall though, this is a very enjoyable and memorable piece that leaves you with a pleasant serene feeling. Nice job.