The tour

      Bandit bounced down the alleyways easily, as Willow followed with aching paws hitting against the hard ground. Her coat seemed coated in a damp blanket, and the musty smell reeking form the trashcan was enough to make hair curl.

      "Hurry up slow poke there is much to show you, so come on." screamed Bandit far ahead of Willow.

     She pick up the pace, but was always poking around corner half exspecting to see a dog lunging at her.

     After a while of walking they stopped. Bandit darted in a broken window. They ended up in a small, but open room. In the middle of the room was a cluste of beds. In one bed was a black girl dog with a few black and brown little babies suckeling.

     " That dog is Lucy my sister." said Bandit pointing to the black girl dog with his nose.

     "Hello I'm Willow." she said shly

     "Nice to meet you." Lucy then started pointing at a big black dog and said "This is my only boy baby and his name is Opus, and this brown girl is Daisy." then she pointed to a tiny black dog most likely the runt of the litter. "This little one has a funny name, but I like it her name is Tilly."

     Willow wentup and nuzzled each.

     "Okay." said Bandit. "You will sleep here next to your left and on your right will be my good friend Red he is out scaverging. Red is Lucy's mate. Oh there is one thing you might want to know about Red he can get very angry easily so be nice to him okay."

     "So what's next to see." said Willow

    "Oh yeah come with me." Bandit replied

      He ran down a narrow alleyway and then into A bright on outside an apartment conplex."Here is the best to scaverge for food, always go here early in the morning for the best stuff.

     "Now there is one more thing to see." he turned around and went into a wide alleyway with many dogs there. He continued all the way down and into an abandon house's basement. "Here is where my secret gang meets. Most dogs here have a gang, or also called their group. These groups are made up of dogs of different beliefs. Each group believes the alleyways should be differrent, and each group stick together."

    "That's cool I would like to join. I would be very dedicated promise, please."    

     "Sure why not, but first you need to meet with the leader, his name is Cody. He should be in the back."

     They headed down there and sure enough white and brown dog Cody was there. He was a small Jack Russel. "Yes can I help you."

    "Yes Cody you sure can I want this dog Willow to join the group and so does she."

     Cody looked at Willow and she nodded yes she wanted to join. Cody then said some weird word, so when he was done she said "I do" and the ceramony was going to be tomorrow night.

Reviews

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

I have read the entire thing. The story is quite interesting, reminiscent of traditional disney types of stories on animals. Your grammar still needs work, but you are young and it will improve naturally over time, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Best advice, though, is to listen when people correct your grammar, as your language will improve as a result of it. I automatically thought after a little while 'Lady and the Tramps' but perhaps 'All dogs go to heaven' may be more approprate a comparison. Like I have advised before, this is a good story, worth the effort of completing, and perhaps a decade from now worth the effort of going back and re-writing with your improved grammar skills by then. Overall I enjoyed reading the story, and give it a good rating. Well done. Daniel