The Unseen

    Normal things always happened in the Mascinaco household until one October evening. It was a brisk evening when Dana Mascinaco was born. She came to the world like all, she looked normal with her soft blond hair and blue eyes. But those eyes, there was a glint of something in her eyes.

     When she was brought home she always seemed like she was staring into another world. Her mother feared she might stare because she might be blind, but her eyesight was perfect.

     She grew up with her mother always wondering what happened. When she learned to talk she would say.

    " Mother do you see them?"

      She would always answered her daughter in fear. "See what?"

      "The funny dressed men."

     Her mother would confort herself by convincing it was just her imaganation.

     On Dana's eighth summer her dad took ill. He had some mysterious illness. They took her father to the ten doctors, and none knew the answer.

   Her mother gave up faith as she went to sit next to Dana. "Don't worry mother they'll make things better in a few days."

      " Who will make him better?"

      " The Unseens they are usually hidden to people, but not to my eyes."

      Her mother went to bed now worried about her daughter going crazy.

     After a few day breaks sure enough the unseens put thing right

Reviews

[Astrid Hamilton]

Very inventive and imagination; you do a great job giving much of a story in a brevity of a glimpse;
not too much to the reader to realize any plot, so ironically this very short fiction then becomes an "unseen" to the reader,
but simultaneously, the usage of irony gives the reader the ability to see.
Brilliant, you are.
i like it.

p.s.
"when are they coming?"

[bailish]

I like this. I think it could be a framework for a much longer piece of fiction.

Everything sounded great, except for this one line.
" The Unseens they are usually hidden to people, but not to my eyes."

While this is what you want us to understand, it's much more interesting if we find it out in a way other than her telling us. We already should suspect this, since she asked her mother about them.

Great job!

[lots fo love ♥]

sorry mints but your grammer as horrible, otherwise great!

[Astrid Hamilton]

p.s.

I've not read you before on this site, I don't believe,
but I like your penname.
"Mintwhiskers"
it made me smile.

[Tuff Stuff]

GRAMMER!
But other than that.
FANTASTIC!