The Night

I find myself suddenly immersed in this

What's out there watching anticipating 

Emptiness personified not to be missed

Silence fear of the unknown waiting 

I look upwards to see a carpet of diamonds

Glittering brightly some coloured blinding

Face down again into its depths a crevice 

I stand with outreached hands all the time minding

My hearts beating wildly for I know not where

My journey is taking me fear takes a grip

I'm getting a feeling which I'd almost forgot

Of the unknown my conscience starts to flip

I regain my thought realize where I stand

What fool would believe in those housewives tales 

I say over and over all will turn out  grand

Not understanding the concept all reason fails

The vastness of what is standing before me

Can not be underestimated or taken lightly

The significance of Sunlight the reason all free

A break from the darkness Night no end to thee

 

Reviews

[SheaRyhai]

Really nice images and details in this. You really paint a picture with your words. I did find the rhyming a bit weak in the second paragraph

"for I know where not"- there's no need to rhyme this with the third line, paragraph above you don't rhyme 'diamonds' with 'crevice' so why force a rhyme here? "For I know not where", makes more sense in this manner. Don't force your rhymes you don't have to do the 'ab ab' pattern. Where it can and does work let it, but forcing it at the cost of making something look awkward is never a win for a rhyming poet :)

Over all I enjoyed reading this. Clever choice of words and descriptions.