Story of Me.Linda

A short autobiography.

Growing up people had a tendency to lean on me when they shouldn't have. My parents; two troubled souls when they had me. My mom off trying to find the love she felt she never received from a man & my daddy was wrapped up enjoying the violent and depressing life of drugs, alcohol and gangs. They were both the "blacksheep" of the family and from the get go our "family" was judged. But they were my parents and I wanted more than anything for our "family" to be happy.
I was a golden child; A princess of war. My whole life was full of decisions; to be bad or be good. Follow my last name or lead my own path. My father's baby girl and my mother's oldest. With my dad in my ear teaching me power and my mom showing me fear I grew up to be a lost child myself; Because my home life was so hectic I found ways, as a child, to cope. I flourished in school and athletics and art. No one in school ever had the slightest idea of the life I was living.

After 5 years of my life, I was sent to live with my grandma because neither my father or my mother were stable enough to give me the life I deserved.
That's when everything started going downhill.
Both parents were still in my life but after I left my moms household; I never went back. Not until I was 16 years old.
After that night; everything my father was feeding me settled in. I grew angry and violent and power hungry. Still the same smart; talented; athletic girl. But disobedient and sneaky.
Because my family didn't always have money I began to get bullied; which only brought my self esteem lower and fed the heart of an angry child. In 2nd grade I began to bully the people that were bullying me. Using my fathers advice and tactics and getting into a lot of trouble.
Of course; people always compared me to my parents' said I was just like my father. "My fathers' daughter" I guess was supposed to make me feel low.
Once I reached my adolescent years, I began to make some of the EXACT same mistakes my parents made. Looking for love in all the wrong places, numbing my emotional pain with drugs, getting my fix of adrenaline by fighting the kids that thought they were better than me.
From then on; I moved. From house to house. From aunt to aunt. No one could control me anymore.
It wasn't until I moved with my Nino; someone that had been there, that I was reminded of who I NEED to be. The four years I was in high school we fought and screamed but he got me through those four years and pushed me harder than anyone ever before. Still angry. Still sneaky. I had only outsmarted myself and everyone around me. My AVID teacher loved to point out that I was her "diamond in the rough."

All that hard work opened up endless opportunities that I was eager to take advantage of. I went to a State university and again; tackled success. I somehow managed, however, to find my way back into the unhealthy lifestyle that had almost ruined me. For two years I watched many of my high school classmates find their paths in life while I was stuck AGAIN trying to find who I was; young and in love. Wasting away trying to find and be the "family" I never had with my parents; not knowing I was making the same exact mistakes my parents did.

It wasn't until that hot summer night in May; that could have ended without me here that I realized I've been living a life that I never wanted. I had chosen the wrong paths in life and I'm SO lucky I had never gotten put in jail or died or had children.

I'm jumping back into life though. With my mind set; my eyes open; my heart strong; and my head straight. In hopes that I finally live to my full potential. Whether I like it or not; I was BORN with a chemical imbalance in my brain because of my parent's mental instabilities. That doesn't mean I'm crazy; or that I will never be someone worth following. On the contrary; I was BORN a leader and my life; my genes are only a small factor in my future. It is up to ME whether it dictates my life; but it will motivate me from here on out-->to achieve the IMPOSSIBLE.

Author's Note

I'd like to know what you all think about my style and if you could really connect with me as a writer and person.

Reviews

[mindyl0ve]

Thank you for the reviews :)

[searchingpoet]

Very inspiring, you obviously have a great inner strength to maintain your hope and optimism.

[Coyote Poetry]

We must overcome a lot when our parent are not strong. I was raised by Grandparent who taught me the value of family and common sense. I like this story. You told a story about a life that begin with struggle and of course struggle is a part of learning. I like your ending. great dreams open door to great things. A excellent story.

[Robin]

you have told your story , you have opened up your self, told us your life story and shown that you have plans for your life in the right direction , writing is great therapy and can be used as mirror and compass , Best of Luck to you !

[Antonio Valentino]

Very nice writing Mindy, keep it up, you have some natural talent.

Thanks for sharing this.
Antonio :)