In Autumn I Found A Boy

Not mine.

in autumn i found a boy

who asked me to cut my hair

and said 'i love you' 

only after sex and six shots

i sipped tea and told my friends about him

they said 'if you're happy' and

knew i was not.

in winter i kissed a girl

who tasted like cigarettes and said

'i love you' all the time but

hurt herself whenever i made mistakes

she threatened to kill herself if i ever left

my friends watched me wash my hands

and did not tell me to test that.

in spring i spent some time

with a boy who told me

it was his way or no way and

when i challenged that, 

he told me

'i love you and that's why i'm doing this'

my friends saw my bruises and gripped my wrists

while i said

'i deserve him'. 

in summer 

i wanted no one at all

and when he walked into my life

i didn't expect

to

fall

but he kisses like the devil

while keeping all my demons away

my friends held my gaze and told me 

keep him. stay.

- Unknown