The Distance Between Love and Lost

It's been fifteen months since you've been near our relationship has been overcome with fear from the daily heartbreak to the struggles felt this is only a portion of all that we've dealt I lie to you- tell you that I am okay why is that so hard to portray? that I trust you, I believe you when women would love to retrieve you yet I know you want nothing to do with them! have I lost it? from where does this anger stem? since when am I ready to aim a conviction? over an unjustified feeling, a prediction? why do I cry, shed tears all through the night? it takes all my energy to give up, not to fight all the stress piled up, overflowing on my plate but at the end of the day, it's not you that I hate forgive me for the things that I've done and all that is yet to be I want this relationship to work, our love to be set free we have a family that needs us, a boy who adores us that's something that not even a w***e can touch his eyes are just precious with that innocence all he needs from family is love and consistence can we maintain, can we make it work as a team? or is that just another thought lost in a daydream? but I don't want our love based on a child once upon a time, we we're young and wild we can get that back, I know it's there spontaneous and fun.. a love so rare four months till you're home, sleeping in our bed what a difference it'll make, I can get out of my head I miss cuddling, our three kisses, holding you tight I can't wait for sex all throughout the night do you realize you hold the only key to my heart I need you here so you can give it a jumpstart without you I'm lost, I'm hardly myself living vicariously through my bookshelf I stopped going out, I stopped seeing my friends it's not you, but this depression never ends I sit home bored out my mind, practically bumming imagining the moment that I'll see you coming These seldom weekend visits, they're not nearly enough I know you're no longer in jail but there's an invisible handcuff I know it's better but what's the point of a halfway house If they hold you, they keep you away from your spouse Patience they tell me, your day will soon come Look where you've started... can't you smell the freedom? I know that it's true; we've made it through hell and then back but what the f**k does that matter when all I want is Jack?

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