Flashback

My head swims as a daze overcomes me. My environment morphs and changes. Chairs turn to trees or blend into houses which i can only see from below. The images of those around me; Dr Harvey's sharp shoes on which i had been focused; blur as the tune plays on. I listen to the words and the musky smell of leather polish that filled the air of the office grows distant and faint. Fear strikes my body. I heave and ache. Desperately, i attempt to cling and claw at anything at all. The sound of the tune and the smell. I tell my body to hold on. My hands scrape against a wet rough surface and i scream at the sudden familiarity that rips through every fibre of my being. A single line of the rap repeats itself on a loop like a broken record. My insides lament for it to continue and never cease. But the small part of my consciousness that remains knows that it wont. I am overcome. I can smell the cold gritty concrete. It carves into my skin and embeds itself in small craters. I'm lying on the ground. I try so hard to call for help but with no conviction. My jaw is drooped and ragged, laying against the pavement and no longer in my control, the taste of metallic blood filling my mouth. Now i don't know whether my face is wet from tears or the ground. I focus on that thought as i chose to let my limp body give up. My chest burns as i feel my ribs bleed out and burn in agony. Damp fills my airways laced with stray hair as what was once neat and tidy braids spew about me and cling to my face. The figure stands over me now. Tall and authoritative his posture almost suggests triumph, a leg pressing into my damaged torso. I try again to cry out and kick yet to no avail. I hear distant footsteps coming closer and hope flashes before my eyes. "Please." I rasp from the dry breathlessness of my throat, "please get him away." I find my voice and with it strength. Anger combats with anguish and courses through my veins, i scream with success. Not with fear or helplessness, but anger and hatred. I scream at the footsteps as they approach, "Can't you see me! Why wont you help me? Get him away i'm begging you he s trying to break me can't you see that?!" The stranger's steps pause for a second. Through my distorted vision is see them stop at the end of the alley and answers. "I'm sorry." A mans deep voice stutters in the silence. I feel myself give in as though his sorry was the final nail in my closed coffin. Then i realise his sorry wasn't directed at me. "I saw nothing please i'm so so sorry" Then hurry along too afraid to even look back. I scream again in mere frustration. I kick at air and try and push myself up with my arms. My chest burns and i persist. Not out if bravery, but a blind and senseless need to prove myself.
I crawl out from under his tyrannous leg and he lets me. "Get up!" He patronizes, "please! Try! It makes it better" he scoffs and hunches by my head, entwining his fingers in the hair closest to my scalp, "please get up and let me knock you down again love" he whispers into my ear, dripping amusement as he releases my head to fall back. A renewed sense of need flows through me and i heave myself up. I reach for the wall at the dead end of the alley trying to support myself whilst my body screams to lay back on the floor and stop the stupidity. I do not cry out, determined not to give him the satisfaction. How stupid i am. There's no way out, yet i feel the need to push his buttons even now. He sweeps for my legs this time. Taking a step forward he kneels on one leg and sends his hands behind my legs taking them out from under me for the second time that night. The entirety of my body sops. In that moment i want nothing more than to take a knife and remove both my legs at the anguish that he has used that forsaken weakness against me for the third time that night. I fall and hit my head against the wall, hard. The impact knocks the air out of me and my chest calls out for release as all breathing in my body ceases and i choke and rasp as wicked lips meet mine.
The image blurs again. I'm curled up on a leather sofa in Dr Harvey's office. Tears are streaming down my face and the entirety of my body is ensnared in a permanent inward shudder. I silently question the fresh dimension into which i have been pushed. Whilst analysing the room; in an attempt to find some indication that suggests that it isn't real; I see the chair on which doctor harvey had been sat was empty. I don't remember her leaving but I know she has. She always does.My eyes linger on the large classroom style door in anticipation. "3,2,1" the door opens and Dr Harvey enters.