Sweet Charlie, Long Gone

The sea…

The foam kissed my bare feet as I ran…

In my memory, I play always at the edge

And laugh as I hold my sundress down in the wind

And laugh as I hold wet cloth away from bare skin…

    Once as the sound of a melancholy violin

        drifted from a bungalow at dusk

 it nailed me in place;

            

So sad, it seemed to bleed onto the sunset colored sand,

riding atop the steady tumble of waves.

 

and yes, the music was in the foam that licked my toes

and yes, I thought the man morose

to play such a sad song

             when the world of the ocean was at his feet as well as mine…

 

I found out later he was as handsome close

As he was mesmerizing from afar

   and quite charming.

I had a weakness for black hair and dark eyes even then.

I thought I would never find anyone else so worldly

Never anyone so refined…

as he gracefully played his aged violin,

As he carefully played me.

 

I played the innocent,

played the piano,

played him.

I remember thinking we played well together; our music, our games…

He said we came together well, smiling as he said it.

So shameless and debonair,

                       sweet Charlie, long gone.

Reviews

[Xandria Alexander]

Such a vivid and raw image of love. Beautiful poem!

[TL Boehm]

bittersweet, meloncholy and resonant - this piece has that antique veneer as though written in another time. Beautiful haunting words that told a story... Wonderful writing.

[Chris Bighorse]

The clarity of the imagery is stunning, and beautiful. So forlorn and displaced, yet remarkable tangible. I like the last stanza in particular but I couldn't tell you why. The only suggestion I have is in the second stanza, last line.

when the world of the ocean was at his feet as well as mine�

This brings together the images presented before rather hypnotically, demostrating the presence of a stunning, beautiful world which he largely ignores. I feel that the last four lines are un-needed. It is an image that has been presented before and with much better imagery.

The foam kissed my bare feet as I ran... and yes, the music was in the foam that licked my toes

Also, the theme of being in the same world is displayed much more vigorously (and shamelessly) in the last stanza.

I played the innocent,
played the piano,
played him.

An amazing write, unbelievably beautiful and sad.

[Bubo]

This poem with its stark raw words has left such an image in my mind.............
Charlie long gone, and yet he is still so much present, the weaving of sea and music, to the playing and
games, such a great write, the power struggles when the beauty of life before you know him was so uncomplicated.........you have written a heartfelt piece, truely beautiful and very sad.

[Emily B]

The waves are haunting. Both the imagined waves of the ocean and the ones that words create in our mind. A lovely, vivid story.

[Cdnsurfer]

Oh this is a wonderful piece about innocence and love, and you painted this scene quite well. I can picture the evolving relationship between these two well. Beware of charming men with sad tales to tell, even if it is in the music they play. These are the slices of life that make the journey interesting. A wonderful piece. Enjoyed the nostalgic flavour of it. ;-)

[Blue Bard]

As I read this I heard so many musics. The violin, the ocean, the wind. I felt that mixed emotions dance of a love that was wonderful and awful all at the same time. The ache in the last in unforgettable. The first verse is exquisite. You've written a good song here. It sings.

[Nick Erickson]

The images you captured were like still photos of a life, keeping them to share with everyone. Very lyrical and musical poem here, with wonderful flow and absolutely vivid imagery.
Well done.

[jeRRy.whaLLey]

This is charming and haunting, C. a story told with stillnesses and Music of waves -- playing even with the reviewer of the Poem -- you've managed a lyrically contrasting piece here with emotional descriptors that captivate and let out an exclamatory sigh! Astounding piece and well textured painting only hinting at the verities of the story! wow!

[Robert Luna]

Wow this was so vivid and was like watching scenes from memories be captured upon a canvas for the world to see and partake of. The pure beauty of times remembered and that hold a special place in your heart forever. Memories are often the things we hold on to that never allow some to be forgotten. We are able to feel a connection to you and your world. I am grateful to be able to experience this part of you.

Loved this

Well Done!!!!!