Prelude

He would like to say that his panic attack was due to something important, but it was due purely and merely to procastination. He had had almost three months to write a ten thousand word essay worth half his grade in literature, and although he had tried his hand at various topics such as the scarcity of tourist or interesting places in his town, football, funny anecdotes about his family and so on; he had not reached two thousand words and did not know what else to write, and given that there were a limited number of words and synonyms someone could use to add padding to a piece of writing before it lost any kind of meaning it might have had in the first place.

Between the loss of pride at having to ask his teacher for help or the loss of dignity at being the only one who had failed literature in the history of the school, the choice was clear. So there he was looking at Miss Grey waiting for her to answer him after he had told her about his problem. Rather than annoyed or horrified, she looked amused as she fiddled with a pencil. She put the pencil down and turned her head in the direction of Ryder who was sitting at one of the desks in the back... sleeping with her head resting in her arms on the desk, and she was supposed to be there for moral support for him. He considered taking a picture for future blackmail, but Miss Grey didn´t give him the chance.

"Miss Ryder?"

She raised her head and her hair swirled around her like a halo. She narrowed her eyes and flexed one arm, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

"Have you finished your rehearsal?"

She nodded and cocked her head to one side, wondering why. Miss Grey turned to look at him, apparently he had become Ryder's unofficial translator if the fact that they looked at him every time she refused to answer was any indication.

"She asked why you wanted to know."

"On what subject?"

Nate was about to answer for her, when to his surprise, Ryder did.

"A review of the most relevant crimes of this century in Wisteria." 

Miss Grey nodded and looked surprised, Nate wouldn't blame her, even he had been surprised when Ryder had teased him for not having done the essay yet when even she had finished it. 

"Why did you pick that topic?"

He saw that little wrinkle between her brows when she lost patience with what she called human stupidity. He could almost guess her answer.

"Crimes are fun."

He smiled as he guessed. Once she answered, she settled her arm back down and went back to sleep. Miss Grey sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, Mr. Stone, unlike Miss Ryder, in these kinds of essays, people usually write about their own experiences," he demanded all his willpower not to comment on that, "but given your friend's motivation, have you tried writing about something funny or interesting that happened to you?"

The first thing that crossed his mind had not been funny, though it had been interesting. But even for him it was hard to believe that he had been there.

"If I wrote it down, you wouldn't believe me."

She just smiled.

"In literature there is such a thing as suspension of disbelief, Mr. Stone."

Author's Note

Sound tempting enough to read on?

Reviews

[Brandon]

Hello! I'm not much of a book writer, per se, but I'll gladly share my thoughts.

It's a great way to grab the reader the way you opened the story. And while it does seem a bit vague, this being the opening makes sense. It gives me some vibes of stories I've read a while ago - like writers from the mid-60s to the 70s. That's the way I read it, at least. Some of my favorite short story authors are writers from decades ago, so I'd say I'm down to read more. And Stone and Ryder seem like interesting characters, so I'd love to see which direction this goes and how everything unfolds.

I hope this helped at all. I work better with questions, so if you want me to look at something specific, please let me know. I'd love to help in any way!

[JayG]

Well, since you are working hard on your manuscript, and since you’ll not address the problem you don’t recognize as being one, I thought you might want to know about a problem you share with most hopeful writers, one that’s both invisible and getting in your way,,,big time.

It’s not related to how well you write, or your talent. And, it’s not your fault. Still…

Here’s the deal: In school we studied a skill called writing—worked on it for over a decade. So, we left our school years believing that writing-is-writing, and that we have the technical part taken care of, and need only a helpful muse, a knack for storytelling, a good story idea, and, a bit of luck.

If only.

Think about it: Did a single teacher spend a single second on the three issues we must address on entering any scene? If not, you’re screwed, because they are what provide context to the reader. And though we forget, each line must have context as, or before, it’s read. To show how desperately readers need that information, look at your first line:

• He would like to say that his panic attack was due to something important, but it was due purely and merely to procastination.

So…an unknown “he” would “like to say?” To whom? Definitely not to you or me. And there’s no one else on stage.

Where are we in time and space? Unknown. Who is he as a person, so far as age, background, and situation? Dunno. What’s going on? No way to tell. We have words in a row, yes, but no context to make them meaningful as-we-read. And since there's no second first-impression...

So, this unknown person is having a panic attack for unknown reasons, in an unknown place, but we do know it was caused by procrastination?

Of course, this works perfectly for you. But you have things the reader lacks:

Knowledge of the scene, the character, the character’s backstory, what’s going on, and what WILL happen. And most of all, a mental image of the place. For you this is about a student you personally know. You, uniquely, can hear the emotion in the storyteller’s voice. The reader has only punctuation.

See why we need to orient the reader as to where we are, who we are, and what’s going on, early?

So…why don’t you already know that? Why wasn’t it taught? Because in our school days we learned the skills most adults will need in life and employment. And what kind of writing do employers need from us? Nonfiction. That’s why we were assigned all those reports and essays, whose goal is to inform, and whose methodology is to have a narrator, alone on stage, informing and explaining, primarily in overview and exposition. In other words, a lecture. Nonfiction's approach is fact-based and author-centric. And isn’t that what this is, from start to finish, you talking TO the reader, ABOUT what you visualize on your mental viewscreen?

At the moment you’re thinking visually, and focused on telling the reader what they would see were they there. But does the reader really care if someone c***s their head as they speak, when they can’t see their facial expression, their dress, their body-language, etc? No. Our medium doesn't reproduce either sound or picture. So we miss all the visual detail we’d get in a glance. And spelling it out, one item at a time, takes WAY too long,

As Jack Bickham said, “To describe something in detail, you have to stop the action. But without the action, the description has no meaning.” And in this, the action doesn’t begin till well down on the second standard manuscript page.

The most important thing they didn’t tell us is something we already know but forget. As E. L. Doctorow observed, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

And since we do forget, and forget that professions are acquired in addition to the general skills we were given in school, we start out giving the weather report. 🤣

But the problem is fixable. More than that, you’ll enjoy the fixing, because learning more about something you enjoy is never a chore. And in this case, it’s a lot like going backstage at the theater for the first time, and filled with, “But that’s so obvious…why did I have to have it pointed out?” That’s fun…for the first ten times. After that you begin to call yourself names. 😙

The skills you need are emotion-based and character-centric, a methodology that was never mentioned as existing. Using it, we place the reader into the scene as-the-protagonist, and in real-time. We make the protagonist’s problems the reader’s problems, so they will react as the protagonist will. And we calibrate the reader’s senses to those of the protagonist, so their response will match. Remember, the reader will learn of everything that is said and done before they read of the protagonist’s reaction. So our goal must be to make the reader respond AS the protagonist—which is where the joy of reading lies. And we can’t do that with the tools of nonfiction.

So, to get started, you might want to begin with a book or three on the basics of fiction. That way there’s no pressure, and you work when you can, and at your own pace. Plus, no tests.

The library’s fiction writing section is a good place to begin. Personally? I’d suggest starting with Dwight Swain’s, Techniques of the Selling Writer, which recently came out of copyright protection. It's the best I've found, to date, at imparting and clarifying the "nuts-and-bolts" issues of creating a scene that will sing to the reader. The address of an archive site where you can read or download it free is just below. Copy/paste the address into the URL window of any Internet page and hit Return to get there.

https://archive.org/details/TechniquesOfTheSellingWriterCUsersvenkatmGoogleDrive4FilmMakingBsc_ChennaiFilmSchoolPractice_Others

Try a few chapters. And for an expansion on what I‘ve been saying, as an overview, you might check the articles in my WordPress writing blog. They’re based on what’s found in such a book.

So…I know this is awful news, especially given that it comes on line one. And it hurts. I know. I’ve been there. But don’t let it throw you. And when you do master the skills, the act of writing becomes a LOT more fun, as the protagonist becomes your co-writer, whispering suggestions and warnings in your ear.

And then, something odd will happen: One day, as you’re writing, your protagonist is going to cross their arms and glare at you as they say, “Are you out of your mind? Me do THAT in this situation? Not with the personality, skills and background you gave me. So change the situation to make me want to do that.” And till your character does that, they’re not truly real to either you or the reader.

And it will come. So hang in there, dig in, and keep on writing.

And I nearly forgot: In the conversion from word processor files to Internet HTML code leading spaces and tabs are stripped out. To maintain indentation it's best to submit a file in .doc or .docX format. And to indent, use the top pip of the onscreen ruler to indent about 5 characters.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/