Storm Force

I can feel it coming,
it's the tingle down your spine that you just can't explain.

It's the feel of eyes watching you when you're on your own.

I can see it coming,
it's the storm clouds that gather on your horizon of thought.
It's the shadows that encircle you at night when it draws in.

I can hear it coming,

it's the low thunderous rumble at the beginning of a storm.
It's the sudden loud crash which splinters your slumber.

I can feel it again,

it's the long deep rumble that shakes through your entire being.

It's the tingle of uncertainty buzzing through your body.

I can see it again,

it's the near miss that shakes you to your core.

It's the echoing emptiness of a deserted place.

I can hear it again,

it's the screaming silence in the middle of the night.

It's the sound of whispers when you're alone in the dark.

And now it's happening all at once.
Biting, scratching, screaming, howling.

Wave after wave crashing into me.
 Going through me.
Knocking me.

Un-steadying me.

It surrounds me, thick and smothering.

Scaring me during it's onslaught.

Stripping me and throwing me out.

But it calms eventually.

The marks it left behind aren't.

Only if you look deep into my eyes will you find them.

they're still there, the tears, the worry, the panic and the heartache.

Still there.

Still smouldering away.

They will be there for many years, not quite visible, but always present.

Still glimmering beneath the surface.

Now and again they will flare up and rear their ugly heads.

But for now I try my hardest to keep my head above water.
Just watching, and waiting for the next storm...