Non-sequitur Sandwich

I read a book about a gnome

I brushed my teeth when I left home

I sleep under a spinning fan

I ate the beans and kicked the can

I stole a nickel from a mime

When I could've taken a dime

Sir, I forgot my shoes at lunch

Somewhere between the salt and punch

I wished for riches on a star

But it can't hear 'cause it's too far

I speak Norwegian and German

Today, I met one named Herman

Cut the nonsense about mermaids

And start singin' about air raids

Yesterday was too late to groan

At the late breaking of your bone

I squirt lemon juice up my nose

With an extended fire hose

The habit is too good to stop

Even after using a mop