The Foxes and the Deer

This was the result of a creative writing task I had to do in English when our area of study was "tribalism". Our only requirements were to have it end with "the tribe had prevailed".

There had been many conflicting feelings when the Foxes came. Many of the Deer were frightened beyond measure, and they had good reason to. The Foxes were quick and predatory and the Deer knew they stood no chance. Being the frightened race they were, they ran; but did not get far.

To a small clearing in a giant forest they fled: the place where they held an emergency stronghold in case of an attack just like this. The Foxes caught many of the Fawns and Does before they could run or even realise what was happening, but there were so many Foxes that none of them could not protect their loved ones without being caught themselves.

Together in the clearing, however, they were relatively safe unless the Foxes were talented enough to follow their tracks through the river.
The Deer had never had an attack like this before. Usually these things happened to smaller, more open villages, so the Deer could not understand why and how the Foxes had found them.
They decided they needed to take action as soon as it was possible, because otherwise the Foxes would call their cousins and brothers and sisters and the village would be impossible to reclaim.

Together, the strongest Deer applied the armour they had kept in this clearing and readied themselves. The weaker ones would be protected by two stags who were to go in after the fighting Deer had reclaimed their village, if they did at all. If not, every Deer available would retreat back to the clearing to find a new village, though that notion sent a wave of fear and anxiousness through them. Villages were hard to create, especially in the winter months. They had all their harvested stock in their village that they might not survive if they didn't reclaim it.

The fighting Deer marched forward, some quivering slightly with nervousness and excitement. The Foxes nipped at their legs with daggers and short knives and sharp teeth. The Deer fought together, rather than individually as the Foxes did, and were steadily pushing the waves of Foxes back with small numbers.

The Foxes seemed to multiply. As soon as one wave was defeated, another sprung up. Many of the Deer were just about ready to give up, but shrill cries rose from a few of the captive Deer kept somewhere in the village and many of the Deer and Foxes equally froze. These cries made all the Deer, male and female, fight aggressively; for perhaps the first time in their lives.

The Foxes grew startled at this unexpected action. They were certain they would overtake the village without any trouble, but now their numbers were dwindling. Quite a few of the more cowardly ones managed to escape, yelping as they ran. The Foxes leading the procession were at the heart of the village, and once news came to them of the Deer pushing them back, they were worried. One of the advisers begged the leader to abort and find someplace else, but he was stubborn and argued that they would have no food at all this winter if they left.
So he ordered the Foxes to fight what seemed to be a losing battle, against the pleadings of the advisers begging him not to send his army to their deaths.

 

The majority of the Foxes, being the disloyal creatures they were, ran in all directions despite the leader's orders. The few that stayed were killed off by the Deer who advanced with growing confidence as they reached their goal.

Finally the Deer entered their village. The leader of the foxes had run when he saw the Deer approaching. A few of the younger Deer wanted to go after him in revenge, but the older stags warned them not to; that revenge would not accomplish anything and it would be better to leave the Foxes be lest they returned.
They rescued the Deer held captive that hadn't managed to escape, and rejoiced in their company once more. A fair amount of their food and stock for winter had been stolen or soiled by the Foxes, but they had enough to survive and they had each other.

The tribe had prevailed.

Author's Note

I'm happy to have anything critiqued, even though I don't intend to do anything more with this. We had to read out our stories in class, and my teacher praised me on writing an "allegorical story that represented this and that" and analyzed all these things that I had never intended... I only meant the story to be about deer and foxes, nothing else!

I suppose it forces one to ponder whether English teachers know what they're talking about at all, especially when analyzing things that aren't there in the first place.