jealousy

And there I was, my eyes glued to him and his friends.
He was laughing, like how him and I used to in the past. The thing was, I wasn't there with him.
We couldn't go back. It was useless. I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream so loud that he would hear me and come back. I don't care what an attention seeker I'd be, I just wanted him back, even if it was just for a minute.

I couldn't explain how I felt to anyone, I couldn't cry, but my throat was throbbing.
My heart felt so empty and my mind kept rewinding and playing the memories of him and I.
How did we end up like this? Why is it that I always end up ruining things?