Bleeding Heart

((please forgive the cliche title))

As I lay here writing, I open my heart
Boiling with emotion, bursting at the seams.
Can't let go, don't want to hold on.
Don't want to admit the truth, sick of the lies.
Everlasting conflict consumes me.
Forgive and move on? I wish it was that easy.
Getting better at dealing with this.
Hell, you'd think I'd be over it by now.
I'm not. I'm still an emotional wreck.
Just find it so hard to trust anyone.
Keep telling me it's gonna be okay, please?
Loving you kills me, leaving you scares me.
My mind is on overdrive.
Nothing I do ever seems to be enough.
Of course I could pretend nothing is wrong,
Putting the truth in Davy Jones' Locker, never to be seen.
Quit your games, I'm done. I'm taking my ball and going home.
Really, what did you expect,
Some stupid blonde to sit here and take your s**t?
Tell me it's gonna be okay. That the hurt doesn't last forever.
Understand what I'm saying -- I've had ENOUGH!
Various scars are repeatedly ripped open
With a masochistic curiosity.
Xplain to me again why I try? I don't understand.
You never seemed to care anyway,
Zooming away in your car. Goodbye.