Bipolar

Today I am standing over the world like God himself and tomorrow I will be on my knees pleading to him to end it.

But today I say, will last forever because this is the me that can fly

This me, that is not afraid of the world his only obstacle is his own indestructible body.

This me, that can change the world and the minds of those who live in it, he can do anything

Today he will write a book and learn sign language and finally call the friends another me shut out.

This me, this is the real me, I know I'm him because I wish to be

God I wish to be.

but like turning off the lights he ends immediately and this new me now needs sleep.

He stays up at night and softly cries into a pillow of thrown away dreams, a lost reality.

He breaks down, piece by worthless piece a bit more with each sip of a burning glass,

Do not be fooled however, because this is not what he wants, believe me he tries

He tries over an eternity to shed these chains

Shackles of lost motivation and God he's so tired

He can't finish this

The sun begins to rise like we know it will, and I have to clean up the mess we've made in our hurricane.

Author's Note

This was a complete stream of consciousness, I may go back and revise

Reviews

[Leo]

Yeah bro I am bipolar as well. Been diagnosed back in 2008. Lived through so many highs and lows..the ocean..the hurricane..the tsunami..the volcano..and the God of all these and his messenger Jesus - I was all of these. For the first time I am combining Lamictal with Lithium and lately I am calm..anyway a very nice poem my man and hope to see you on my page..blessings

[Brittany Zedalis]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar. Especially when I read something like this-something that I so strongly relate to. Wonderful work.

~Luna

[Mike]

Thank you so much Brittany. A big problem with mental illnesses is a lack of diagnoses, if you feel like you may have bipolar disorder you really should talk to a doctor. While being diagnosed was its own animal I had to deal with, the validation itself actually helped me to understand a part of myself that caused me so much distress. Just knowing that the way I felt was something that other people experienced made me feel a whole lot less alone. Let me know if I can help you with anything!

[alanwgraham]

I also am bipolar so I get this. Luckily if i take my pills I don't get too high too often. I have written quite a bit when i'm high and it is quite a dilemma whether I can share it with others. To revise it is to deny the reality of the experience so I would leave it. You might like to read my poem 'manicarus' about how i felt during a manic episode. I'd like to read some of your 'normal' stuff too.
Cheers,
Alan