Beings In The World

Its not just that you have a self
It means nothing -
The word by itself
Means nothing

But does that it mean it doesn't exist?

I feel it. I know it by its presence
And can witness its dissolution
In not being - called upon and known
By me

The not-me, in my body, in my mind
Constricting proportions, distorting time

Like falling down a flight of stairs
I cannot help myself: where to orient?
The falling pieces - how do I collect them?
And where do they go?

Morbid fantasies. Thoughts projecting outwards,
Striking inwards with their lancet

A strange, strange perception: the not self.
And an emotion arises, grows, what is it -
What else but shame.

The fight forward - stop the thought, the perceiving
Entangled and fangled - my fantasies, not concealed
Enacted and distilled by the others right brain
Telling me: go away, go away, go away

Confirming with each stake: you are not.

The other, confirms, recognizes, envlivens. The self Alive, only communally,
In spredaing and spiraling itself, joined by the force of what? The want for expression
And the expressed act: a loop, seeing and feeling your unique style
of walk, speech, movement during speech; ways of speech, how they're said
Completely unique. Mining whats inside, found, given from without,
discovered from within: me, as me, as interpeted by me, alchemized to be
The expressed me: my self. My life. Received from without, beneficently.

And what is the key to it all? The entrance to the pearly gates of selfhood?
But the reflective face and voice on the other end: confirming in an act so simple
"I recognize you", it says. And joy, voice, self, is recognized, felt from within, carrying
The voices and faces which shine approval: "I recognize you" they say
And your throats, de-acnhored from the shining faces, recognizing voices
who comfort and confirm your existence, to let you know, that inside of you
lies feelings to the world, so that you can be, like them....

Beings-In-The-World.