The Test

This is a rough first draft of a story for, you guessed it, class.

        


The Test



        He wiggled nervously around in the moulded plastic chair, trying in vain to get comfortable.
        �I hope there�s nothing wrong,� he thought, �I knew I shouldn�t have gone to that party.�
        �Giles Mathias,� the nurse called out, �Giles.�
        He got up, seat covered in sweat.
        �Step in here please, now what seems to be the matter?�
        �Well I need a test.�
        �What kind of test?�
        �A blood test.�
        �Okay, there�s lots of those, which one precisely ?�
        �Well, um, you see I went to a party last week, and I don�t remember anything, but I know I was gone for the whole week and now��
        �Now you just want to make sure that everything is okay?� The nurse cut in.
        �Yea exactly, I mean I�ve never done anything like this before so this is really my first time going through this but��
        �You should come in anyway and get tested, but lucky for you this is 2008, had this been the late ninety�s I would have to ask you to come back in three to six months for this, but no need to wait that long now, but while I go get the kit, let me take your temperature.�
        He opened his mouth, the thin plastic rubbed against this inside of his jaw, this only served as a momentary distraction, from what considered a judgment sentence.
        �Well, your temperature�s fine and I suspect that you are going to be just fine also, now if you�ll open your mouth again I�ll take this swab and run it along the soft tissue and then ship it to the lab and in about twenty-four hours we�ll have your results.� The soft cotton tickled, �I see you aren�t very popular with the gents, not with a reflex like that.�
        �Huh, what?� he asked, not fully sure he heard her correctly.
        �Well�I am sorry if I offended you, but I saw your bracelet and just figured��
        �No,� he broke it, �you just kind of shocked me with it that�s all but really I enjoyed the levity, and no I�m not that popular,� he said, smiling.
        �I am just glad I could help, brighten your day, now we�ll call you when the results come in, or if you�d like you can call us, but we�ll need your name and this number to give it to you over the phone, but we would prefer that you come in.�
        �Okay, I�ll just call and then when they�re here I�ll stop by.�
        �Sounds good, but remember to relax and don�t let this get to you, you seem like a nice young man, I am sure you�re worried over nothing, but I�ll see you tomorrow,� she said escorting him to the waiting room door.
        Nervously he put his hat back on and headed to his car, �I could just take my car off a high cliff someplace and not worry about it, or better yet a nice bottle of Absolut and orange juice combined with my dads sleeping pills would work nicely.� he thought, but knowing that he could never.
        His mind plagued him the impending doom of tomorrow, that he tried to dismiss as paranoia, with the late night talk show host and B-rated movies, �I can�t have it,� he mumbled, �I�m too young and besides it was just a college party with lots of Meth and poppers�I couldn�t have it no one would be that careless or would they?�� he thought, knowing that it was possible and knowing that he wouldn�t be in stats class later that morning, eventually he nodded off.
        They closed the waiting from noon to one for lunch and as he sat in his car eating a McChicken until the doors opened.
        �Hello, my name is Giles Mathias and I�m here for some test results.�
        �Oh um, when were you seen?�
        �Yesterday.�
        �Let me see if they�re back.�
        �I�m sorry they aren�t back yet you can wait they should be here sometime today, or we can call you when they get in.�
        �No-no, I don�t think I can make it if I leave, I�ll just wait.�
        �Okay, help yourself to a chair and the nurse will get you when we get them back.�
        �Alright,� he sighed walking to a chair, �I can�t stand this waiting and I hate these goddamn chairs,�� he said grabbing a stack of old and tattered magazine.
                

Author's Note

Remember this is a rough draft, there might be grammar problems.

Reviews

[Story Keeper]

I know it's becoming increasingly popular to end stories that way, but I really wanted to know. I was worrying right alongside him. As you said there are some grammar and punctuation errors, but you expect that with a first draft. It is a good short story that really pulls the reader in. I didn't like the ending, but that doesn't reflect on your skill, but my personal preferences. I think with a few touch ups you'll get a good grade. Good work!

Hmmm.... okay so now I am sitting here and I am wondering... what the result was.. I know, you'll call me or I can check back tomorrow right? You said this was for a class but you didn't say what the professor was looking for.. any way.. you held my interest and did a good job with the dialog and introducing me to your characters..

SimplyNisa

[Michael]

I guess this is how I can reply, the Prof only wants three pages, and so while I have every intention of working on this, in order to make it fully complete, this is the limit of what he'll take as an assignment. However, thank you for review.