Failure Perforce

“I never promised you success,” he said, “It was an experiment. We didn’t know what was going to happen. That was the point, sir.”

                The boardroom looked empty, just him and the executive. The table shined under the bright, fluorescent lighting. Eight empty chairs lined the sides of the table.

The executive sat at the end, relaxed in his power. His back was slouched, his eyes piercing. His chin rested on his hand. His slicked back hair exposed his wrinkled forehead. No one at the company knew if the wrinkles were from his age or his constant frustration in his employees.

 After a few seconds, his deep voice bellowed across the room, “This is a business. Even in an experiment, we expect some sort of success.”

“But, sir,” Frank started, his sweaty palms restless in pockets. His thin legs were starting to wobble from the pressure in the room. He unbuttoned his suit jacket and waved the sides to get air. He never suffocated before, but he assumed this was how it started. His eyes darted all over the room, not really looking at anything, only trying to buy a moment to think about what to say.

“Explain to me what happened, Frank,” the executive said smoothly.

“We arrived on the scene and noticed several things in the building that needed repairs. The lights didn’t work properly, there was mold in the restroom, and the air conditioner was on the fritz,” Frank said, “We imagined that if customers were to come in, having sweaty employees and the windows open would be tacky. Not to mention the unfortunate souls who would need to use the restroom.”

“Understandable. How did you plan on fixing these problems?”

“We started by hiring a contractor to fix the restroom. It seemed like the most pertinent problem.”

“Did they teach you that in your Ivy League business courses in college?”

“No, I’m just not an idiot.” Frank and the executive shared a smile for a moment, understanding the sarcasm.

“So you hired the contractor. Did you work on any of the other problems?”

“Of course. We had an electrician come in for the lights, and got a guy for the air conditioner. While all that was going on, we started the hiring and training process, as well as the small touch-ups to the property.” Frank ended this statement with a large gulp. The executive heard it from across the room and shot Frank a look.

“And?”

“Well, sir,” Frank took in a deep breath of the thick air, “The contractor took his sweet time with the bathroom, as did the other men we hired. We had our staff trained and planned the opening day. We gave a few days for the workers to be done.”

The executive’s eyebrows rose in unison, further wrinkling his forehead.

“They told us they were finished and we opened. Business did well for the first few days, until…” Frank paused, swallowing his words to digest them before speaking. The sweat started to pool on his brow, so he wiped it off quickly with his sleeve before it became a problem.

The executive grew impatient, checking his watch between glances at Frank’s awkward mumbles. His voice thundered through the room, “Go on.”

“Suddenly, on Thursday, the floor gave out in the bathroom where the mold was. The contractor didn’t seem to put in a last support beam properly. It was an easy mistake-”

“Don’t make excuses for them!”

“Yes, sir.” Frank’s voice wobbled in fear, “The man who fell decided to sue.”

“I am well aware of that lawsuit. I can feel the millions getting sucked from my wallet as we speak, Frank.” There was a sour taste in the way he said ‘Frank,’ like it made him ill to say it.

Several people walked by the room. The glass door was surprisingly able to block out all sound, but Frank was visible to all passersby. Secretaries and marketers looked in as they passed, giving Frank the look of sorrow and sympathy. They couldn’t dream of being stuck there.

“Their lawsuit won, of course, sir, and we lost all our revenue,” Frank spoke softly, looking at the floor. He felt the looks from his co-workers. He didn’t know most of them, but he felt humiliated.

“Yes. That’s why your store is being shut down,” the executive announced coldly.

“But, sir, we were only open for a week!”

“Don’t you raise your voice to me. Your profits were significantly less than projected, and it was the lowest in our regional market!”

“But, sir-”Frank started, only then realizing there was no reason to fight. The executive never changed his mind about matters with his money.

“You’ll be returning to your desk on Monday, handling phone calls like you used to.”

“Of course.” Frank’s voice was low. He held the anger and disappointment inside. They only came out when he’d see his reflection, but even then he’d try to retain them. He had too much pride for his own good.

He exited the room, briefcase in hand, buttoning his suit jacket back up. The hallway was much cooler than the room. It seemed wider now. The spaciousness made him feel more alone, like everyone was avoiding him. He finally looked up from the floor, trying to seem somewhat confident in himself. S

The drive home went by slowly. The dark winter sky assured him that he would be concealed by the shadows from his fellow drivers. He felt safer.

His dinner consisted of a three-month old TV dinner and a can of Dr. Pepper. He watched the news and listened for stories of people who had it worse than him. It made him feel a little better.

Frank brushed his teeth before going to bed. The sounds of the brushing worked as a white noise most nights. He spit out the toothpaste, and the minty residue made his mouth tingle. He wiped his mouth off with a towel from the rack. He didn’t look at which one it was. Looking himself in the eye through the mirror he said, “You’ll never be a manager.”

Reviews

[mcg03002]

Mike,
You are a talented writer. You chose a very interesting subject. The story had me feeling the tension (but also mutual respect) that existed between Frank and the executive. Frank’s frustration and self doubt were so clear at the end of the piece. It was easy for me to identify with that character…having gone through many of the same struggles associated with insecurity and doubt. I am going to put just a few revision notes here. Please be aware that I find your story to be excellent just the way it’s currently written. YOU are the author, and it’s your style, technique, and voice which is of paramount importance. Everything else, including grammatical rules, political correctness, or the multiple comments/suggestions you will receive on this site, is secondary to your being true to your unique style of storytelling. Incorporate what’s helpful and throw away the rest. 
1.) When you use multiple words to create a compound adjective, you must hyphenate them. In the third paragraph you say “slicked back hair.” While the reader can figure out what you meant by rereading…it’s better just to hyphenate the words that go together. You aren’t describing the slicked hair on the executive’s back, so write “slicked-back hair.”
2.) “We imagined that, if customers were to come in, …” Just needs an extra comma.
3.) “Did they teach you that in your Ivy League business courses in college?” I’d leave off the “in college” part. Respect the intelligence of the reader, and take advantage of the creative way you found to convey information in this sentence without stating it directly. “Did they teach you that in your Ivy League business courses?” Asked the executive, his words heavy with sarcasm….”No,” retorted Frank, “I’m just not an idiot.” The half smile at the corner of his mouth showed that he’d understood the sarcasm and humor in his superior’s comment.
4.) “Suddenly…” In this paragraph, you lose your tense. Move your “seem” to the beginning of the sentence and put it into, believe it or not, the present tense. “It seems the contractor didn’t put the last support beam in properly.” You could also use apparently. “Apparently the contractor didn’t…”
Thanks for sharing.

[kait]

i like this : )